Got involved with an older man. 15 years!
Week one tells me he's still close to his ex and asks if I'm jealous.
Constant contact (which I liked) from day one. Messages and calls all day everyday. Felt like good company in lockdown.
The calls vary depending on his moods. He would do most of the story telling and I would listen and ask questions. I was enjoying hearing his stories and learning about a new person.
He told me he liked red nail varnish and sent me some. I noticed since his ex often had red nails.
I told him I couldn't sleep. He sent me pillow mist (felt like he was really sweet)
He told me he loved me after 2 months. I felt the same.
He gave me lots of compliments. But started sneaking in things that made me feel rubbish. Such as preferring my hair up when I wear it down. Then the other week he mentioned the only thing he'd change about me is he would give me a tan. I'm a SAHM and got my child into nursery last week. He said he was happy for me and I deserved some me time. But then he went onto say SAHM can become like children and have nothing else to talk about. He denied I was like that and said he was looking forward to experiencing the child side of things with me because he missed out on his own daughter due to seperation.
Then he sent me a text saying how much he loved me and knew it was a big day for me as my child was starting nursery.
I noticed him deleting women from his Facebook who appeared to be supportive friends on his posts in the past. He also mentioned a fling he had had after his long term relationship. I've since found out from this women that he's been messaging her for the last few months but stopped out of the blue two weeks ago. She doesn't live locally and he's been telling me throughout our relationship she's a crazy stalker. She has said he never told her about me once.
He sent me a large bottle of perfume and got obsessed with certain parts of my body. He would compliment those parts of me every day.
He goes to far taking the Mick out my accent. Slagging of the area we live in and the people because he's from down south. Saying all people here are thickos etc.
I'm currently in the dog house with him. He fell out with me yesterday when I questioned him on another women he's been in contact with. He said he couldn't deal with my insecurities and blocked me. Today he's unblocked me but not said anything.
In between all this stuff he's been loving, kind. We've talked about our deepest secrets and he felt like a best friend. We got so close. But suddenly I'm realising a million things and I'm feeling pretty stupid for not seeing it.
He always had women bothering him. They were always crazy. Everyone was always to blame. He has no family around him. He hates christmas and spent it alone. He doesn't have a relationship with his dad or brother. He has no friends but works and gels with some of them. He's still not over his ex and has her photos all over his house. He would say allsorts about her from them being friends and being close, to saying he never fancied her and she was this and that.
I literally can feel it all hitting me and I'm just shocked and sad. He really invested in me. Realising how he is has been hard. But I now know and have got to stop feeling sorry for him.
I don't know if he will contact me again. But I've read toxic people often do. Which would explain the unblocking.
Anyone been in this situation? Need some good advice. Thank you