Crush won't go away 😩

[CoffeeCupz]

Been together 8 years no marriage or children, I had a huge crush on a man at my workplace nothing had ever felt like this in my life, he just spoke to me one day and it was like an electric current, we had so much in common and then one day he messages me online through Facebook and we text, I wanted to meet up with him but didn't in the end and rejected him. Have since moved jobs over a year ago, but I'm still having dreams about this man and can't seem get rid of thought of him.

I have googled other people having crushes whilst commited and they say it passes but mine isn't?? I still have regular dreams were I am with this other man at least once every two weeks and then I spend all day thinking what if again :(

Me and my boyfriend have ups and downs I still love him jsut sometimes I think we're not that compatible sexually / not much in common. He loves me to, and I quess I'm coming on here to ask what would you do?? Im 27. No marriage or children and don't want to hurt anyone 😩 it hurts me to think of leaving him but I can't shake the other guy out my mind, feel lost.

Is it limerence? It is possible to feel attracted to others while being in a committed relationship, even if the limerent object is not your usual type.

In your situation, I would try to work things out with my partner and keep the other person at arm's length, keep no contact until it is clear where you and your partner are.

Also, how well do you know your crush? He may seem perfect for you now but the grass is not necessarily greener.

He is my usual type and 100% what I would go for if was single. And I know him quite well we used to talk a lot at work and see his family's posts stuff though Facebook 😩 part me thinks grass isn't Greener than I think what if I look back 10 years regret staying, then it hurts me to think of leaving partner but now I'm older and the relationship isn't really going anywhere just feel totally lost and sad 😭

Are you wanting marriage and children or maybe not with your current partner? don't settle for him as you'll regret it if you do get tied to him. The crush is a symptom of not being satisfied in your relationship. I would end it what's the point staying stuck for no real reason other than he's familiar.

and the relationship isn't really going anywhere just feel totally lost and sad

Had you not ought to be leaving your partner anyway, then, regardless of the crush?

I don't think you'd be obsessing over this other guy if your relationship with your partner was right for you. You don't have children, you're not married - stop being a wuss and make the leap.

This other chap may not be the right guy either, but life is too short to settle for unsatisfactory. Take some risks.

At 27 you're too young to be settling for someone that is 'ok', you could have another 60 years with this person! End your relationship regardless then you're free to pursue the crush safe in the knowledge you didn't cheat. If it doesn't work out at least you know and tbh it doesn't sound like you'll be missing your current relationship much

You may be thinking of him because your current relationship isn’t satisfying you. It’s your subconscious alarm bells ringing. Can you imagine being with your boyfriend in 10 years? Because if not that’s your cue to get out. Spend some time alone and then see how you feel. I think you want this man to be your knight in shining armour. You are your own knight in shining armour.