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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Potential relationship? Don't know what to think.

22 replies

NewPotential · 10/03/2021 17:36

Hi. Long time member but hardly ever post these days.

I've been single 6 years. I've had the odd ONS in these years but not relationship.

Got talking to a guy on Facebook dating. He seemed fine, normal.
Met him today social distanced...he was in his car, I sat in mine. We met at Costa and sat and chatted for a few hours.

We've texted since then and he's said he wants to see me again.

Anyway he's since said that he likes to he dominated, not just in the bedroom but told what to do.
He also said that if things worked out he wants what is called a cockold relationship. This is all new to me and I don't know what to say or do.
He said it turns him on the thought of another guy shagging me and then finishing me off.
I'm lost for words.

Does anyone know if this is even a thing in relationships or just something that happens in porn. I've searched it and it's all that comes up, about porn.

OP posts:

MazekeenSmith · 10/03/2021 17:38

Of course that's a thing but if you aren't naturally dominant this will NEVER work
Personally it's a from me but each to their own

ItisLikethis · 10/03/2021 17:39

Are you having a laugh?

PickAChew · 10/03/2021 17:42

I'd be ordering him to go fuck himself.

Mummaofboys93 · 10/03/2021 17:43

I had an ex that was into the whole cuckhold thing. I never ever agreed to it though as its completely not for me & it would cause issues on occasion believe it or not as he'd be angry I wasn't on board. He wasn't into being dominated though, he was a horrible controlling waste of space!

ultrababy · 10/03/2021 17:44

Seems like they’ve given lazy cunt a new name.

Alternista · 10/03/2021 17:46

On your first date he said all this? Wow.

toolatetofixate · 10/03/2021 17:48

You don't know what to think?

butterpuffed · 10/03/2021 17:49

Your username and title suggest you could be considering it ?

honeysuckle21 · 10/03/2021 17:50

He doesn't seem fine and normal, I would run unless you like all that crazy shit

Wanderlusto · 10/03/2021 17:50

I had a guy ask me for that in online dating few months back. Had to Google it.

I not sure how you being pimped out to other men counts as you doing the dominating tbh.

I wished him good luck with his search and promptly blocked him.

Tbf you've had one date with the guy and he is already telling you about his sexual fantasies. Thats inappropriate as fuck, whether you think his desires are acceptable or not.

I personally think he sees womens an object to control not a person. Wanting to be dominated would probably actually involve you doing all sorts of acts you are uncomfortable with and him claiming you should be ok with it because you hold the power. But actually you dont, because you're just going things you arent into in order to keep him.

And really,he is not a keeper. He is a weirdo.

Original poster

NewPotential · 10/03/2021 17:55

No. Not considering it. Was shocked. Before this disclosure I would have agreed to a 2nd date. We've been talking for a few weeks.

I wasn't sure how much of a common thing this is so I asked here.

He said he likes to be in control and want to treat me like a princess and buy me what I wanted.

I said It would make me feel like he was my pimp

OP posts:

InvisibleMoonDancer · 10/03/2021 17:58

Wouldn't be for me but to each their own...

Original poster

NewPotential · 10/03/2021 18:04

It's not for me, I was taken back when he said this.

OP posts:

Wanderlusto · 10/03/2021 18:16

I actually wondered with the las who asked me if be was a pimp. And this was some new fangled way of tricking women into prostitution. You just never know.

DianaT1969 · 10/03/2021 18:33

Gosh, what are they putting in Costa Coffees these days? He told you this on a first date. You didn't even have the benefit of a glass of wine before you heard this s*it. 🤣
Poor woman who dates him next and falls for this crap.
I'd almost be tempted to up the ante and say you could get on board if he fulfills your fantasies first, which are him pouring hot wax on his knob whilst on a zoom chat, and him painting his face with permanent purple dye.

Original poster

NewPotential · 10/03/2021 19:01

🤣 that sounds a good plan the hit wax 👍

I told.him it sounded like prostitution

OP posts:

Sunflower1970 · 14/03/2021 04:14

It sounds like you will give it a go just to be in a relationship when most of us would run for the hills

Slacktide · 14/03/2021 04:22

He said all this in a Costa car park?

Treetops73 · 14/03/2021 08:29

Looking for a positive here, at least he was honest about what he’s looking for. Better to find out now than in 6 month’s time when you are more invested. You can walk (run!) away now and not waste any more time on him.

Consider it a lucky escape!

TheBusiness · 14/03/2021 08:34

I wonder how many other poor women he’s going to meet and make that proposition to.

TheBusiness · 14/03/2021 08:35

And I wonder what his success rate will be.

litterbird · 14/03/2021 08:35

The things you read at 08.30 on a Sunday morning....nearly spat my coffee out! Ok, the Costa Coffee situation is one I haven't read about on MN before....always a first, so congrats on that one OP! Lets give him the benefit of the doubt....he was open and honest with you so you know now you can run -------->>>>> that way.

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