Blocking and unblocking advice

[Springsigns4]

I'm one of those foolish women that's got involved with a bad boy. He's more an ex bad boy. But he's now left with no family around him. Minimal friends. He's had long term relationships in the past so he's always been committed in relationships. His last relationship was 8 years. Although after yesterday I don't know the truth anymore.

Basically in the time we've been involved hes blown his stack over the smallest thing twice. The first time was when I started questioning his visions for the future as I have kids and so does he but his are grown. At the start I was interested in how he really felt about going kiddies potentially being around him. He went mad at me when I asked him if he was sure about my baggage (not that my kids are baggage.) With that he shouted at me that I was doing his head in and he was done. Said he was sick of me doubting him. Hung up. Threatened to block me. He didn't. And two days later after some sulky messages about him still caring I called him. We agreed that serious stuff would be discussed on the phone. Fair enough. But I felt at the time he was banning me from asking questions.

We've been good again the last six weeks. There's been the odd thing like him saying he planned to move out the town we lived in in the summer. I wanted to know how they would work for us. Then a week ago he said that was a dream for a few years time. So he was talking nonsense. Sometimes he's so up and down I can't make any sense of him..

Yesterday was the third day in the road he was quiet. Tired. I made the stupid mistake of texting him to see if he wanted some space for a couple of days. Because he was telling me to ring then had nothing to say. With that he got mad again. Asked me why he was being made to feel he had done something bad etc. Telling me he was sick of me and that there was something different everyday. He took me of his Facebook after the call. Deleted and blocked me. Blocked me on Facebook. Blocked my number. Blocked my Watts app. Told me not to contact him again and swore at me.

He's always saying his mum raised him a gentleman so I text him back and said you need to take a long hard look at your attitude before you meet someone else and a gentleman would no swear at a women he's supposed to love.

That was it. I've heard nothing. I've had no desire to contact him. I went on Facebook messenger an hour ago to reply to my sister and he's unblocked me on Facebook.

I will not be contacting him at all!!! But I'm baffled. Why am earth has he unblocked me already? I know it's games. But surely he doesn't want anymore to do with me now?

I'm feeling strong this time and I am not weepy or upset like last time. I feel quite calm and feel like it's his loss. I know his depression makes him up and down. I kinda feel exhausted by him as I listen to his problems constantly and roll with his moods. It was my job to be the strong one. But the couple of times I had wobbles he made me out to be a nightmare.

I don't understand men. I really don't. He's 45 too!

If you feel exhausted by him, and he's gone, and you have no intention of contacting him... Why are you spending time wondering how his mind works/how he's made certain decisions?

Who cares? If he made sense to you, you'd be in a relationship, so, really, you're trying to understand something that is not understandable to you.

Don't waste your time. Go and do something you love. Go treat yourself. Distract yourself. Even if you work out exactly why he's done what he's done, it won't make any difference. He'll still be an awful man you don't want to be with.

Awful people understand awful people. So, unless you are awful, he's not going to make sense to you.

And it's not about understanding men. It's about understanding one man. He isn't the elected voice for men. I'm sure many men would be very pissed off to be grouped with him just because he has a penis and they have them too.

It's a gift that he has unblocked you because it means thatyou can block HIM and be free of all that drama.

Its not a man thing it's an asshole thing.

He is a mental, soul sucking nasty piece of shit. Who no doubt used depression as an excuse to get away with all manner of crap treatment of you. It isn't an excuse and it isnt why he treated you badly. He treated you badly because he is an asshole. Probably with a cluster b personality disorder on top.

He unlocked you because blocking was meant to punish you and make you crazily grovel for him back. Now he realises he needs to try a new tactic.

Block him. And read up on: narcissists hoovering. It's the manipulations they use to try get you back.

Melanie tonia Evans does good YouTube videos on narcissists and one on hoovering too I think. Lear Lear learn. Knowledge is power against vile sorts like him.

Thanks.

I will apologise for saying I don't understand men. There are many kind decent men out there.

The thing I massively fell for was he was older and made me feel beautiful. Special. We got really close. Said he wanted to spoil me. So when he had his rotten days I was there. With phone calls. I listened to everything about his past. His ex relationships. His suicide attempt. All his struggles and I did it with love and care. I always tried to understand. But like I say the minute I question him on stuff he can't handle it. He hates it. I've only ever checked his sure about my children because it's a big deal! They are 3 and 6 so it's a big deal.

But also I brought him up on a women he had been messaging abit and eyeing up it seemed. He called me insecure about that too.

We usually talk throughout the day on the phone and messages. Aswel as seeing eachother. So today is very quiet.

For him to have unblocked me means he's either hoping I notice or he's watching me I guess. I won't be contacting him so he can make out I didn't leave him alone. I have nothing to say to him anymore. I just expected to stay blocked for ages.

Thanks.

Blocking and unblocking you has produced exactly the reaction he wanted, I hope for your sake that you are serious about not getting back with this idiot.

Your time would be better spent asking yourself why your standards aren’t higher.