My Bil has always had a very edgy and sometime inappropriate sense of humour. He’s been married to my sister for 10 years, they have two young children and he is 15 years older than her (early fifties). Most of the time his humour can be brushed aside and not taken too personally but something happened at the weekend that has made me think that maybe he is using humour to disguise plain nastiness.
My sister has always had an issue with body image, more so after pregnancy and breastfeeding. She never makes a big deal of it and she comes across as quite confident. We met for a walk at the weekend and my dh was relaying a story of one of his colleagues who had a reputation for talking to womens breasts rather than their faces. My bil laughed and said ‘well I’ve never had that problem with dw, it’s a good job I’m not a tit man’. My sister heard this and walked off and when I caught her up she was crying. Bil came over and told her to stop being so sensitive as ‘it’s only banter’.
For context, my sister maintains that most of the time they have a good relationship, he is warm and attentive and they have a good sexual relationship and he tells her he loves her body. But this feels so off to me and utterly disrespectful. When it comes to humour I really feel that he uses angle to get a laugh but he’s really crossed a line this time. Am I being over sensitive on behalf of my dsis?