Er. . .why does dh have a secret German e-mail account?

[expatkat]

He already has a work account and a yahoo account. I discovered this 3rd account by accident, when checking history. It makes sense he might choose a German provider if he were trying to keep something from me. It's a language he knows well and I don't know at all. . . very sneaky!

There must be an explanation other than the one I'm thinking of. Right? (I couldn't guess the login name & password, btw.) What to do now?

Bloody hell. No idea. Except the explanation you're thinking of. Which I'm trying hard not think of too.

Your explanation might be right, he is james bond!

I don't really have any ideas, but wanted to send you some hugs!

Seriously, it's probably something like idiotic jokes in German on a group circulation thingy...isn't it?

Hugs from me too.

Who is it with? I have what looks like a German email a/c - but the company it is with (gmx) used to be in the UK too. I never bothered to change it when they withdrew the English language version as I can read the German well enough to operate an email account, and it was less hassle to do that than to notify everyone of a new mail address.

Oops foot in mouth disease. Are you suspicious of his fidelity. This can be very upsetting, you better confront him not out of suspicion just curiosity. Perhaps he wants to keep up his german?

probably totally innocent expatkat

He's so NOT the unfaithful typed, it may well be innocent. Yes, probably the German jokes. . .

I'm more curious than suspicious, TBH.

It is GMX, lunarsea.

ask him expatkat- turn it into a joke just to stop the thing festering in your mind cos it probably IS innocent

I'd just ask him. Not in an accusatory way - just in a jokey and unconcerned way (but I'd be watching him closely when he answered). Good luck xx

This may be a silly question but do his usual e-mail addresses contain his name? If so then the new one may be one he uses when he'd prefer more anonymity when signing up for stuff etc.

I'd just ask him too, good luck!

expatkat, just ask him. I'm curious now, too! I can see this happening to me and my husband is not the unfaithful type (it's not me -- just counter to how he is.. ). If it were my husband, it'd have something to do with ordering either bike parts or computer parts.

To send or receive spam? I have 4 accounts and normally use a couple of them when I want to access a site but don't want them sending me advertising (my regular accounts are alreagy clogged with spam), once the account is full I just let it die...

Sounds totally reasonable, Coppertop. But that reminds me. . . .several months ago I'd noticed he had a hotmail account. I asked him why he had a third email account. He said, "I don't have a third email account. I have work and I have Yahoo." So I logged on and showed him that he does indeed have a 3rd email account. (It was easy to do it, as he chose the same email address and password he uses for Yahoo). He looked v. embarrassed and said one of his flunkies at work signed him onto that account so he could have an email address on hand to use when dealing with dodgy companies that would be likely to send him a lot of SPAM. OK. . .But now I've discovered that address, it's not been used and is deactivated. Strange, huh?

Anyway, it was impulsive of me to share this info here to begin with. . .not really in character for me, and now I feel a bit silly. Thanks to you all for the suggestions and supportive words. If I find out anything, you will deffo hear about it.

JJ, dh is the same way. I think my first reaction might be actually to laugh if I found out he were having an affair. (Second reaction would be to cry, of course.) Anyway, thanks for the further reassurance & support, everyone.

I am SO stupid

It IS innocent. The GMX's appeaance on our history tab, on closer examination, corresponded to one day only, the day when dh's German mate was here helping dh with the computer. He must have been checking his e-mail. Mate's wife (one of my best friends) confirmed her dh has a GMX account.

I am slinking back on here feeling totally embarrassed, but I felt like I had an obligation to reassure suspicious wives everywhere that something there IS a perfectly legit explanation for things that look bad on the surface.

Glad we were right expatkat- hoorah... all is well in the expat house

Glad it is all resolved !

Glad it's all sorted out.

pheeeeeew - looks like you know your dh well and were right in your convictions of his fidelity in the first place! Nothing to worry about and curiosity is perfectly natural.

Phew !!