How can I be more emotionally available?

[piddocktrumperiness]

It has dawned on me after dating and being attracted to emotionally available men that I do that because I am the same- I have been hurt badly in the past and even though I thought I was ready to be in a relationship- I don't think I am. So I'm trying to be on my own. Is there anything else I can do?

How can I be more emotionally available?

Sorry that should say " being attracted to emotionally UNavailble men"

Build self respect. Instead of being single, be your own partner. Take yourself on dates to places you really want to go. Surprise yourself with an unexpected gift/meal out (when we're allowed). Buy yourself flowers. Do all the little things for yourself that you would love if a partner did them.

Learn to live a lifestyle where you become accustomed to being treated with this level of high regard.

Once it's your 'normal', you will find it comes naturally to choose an emotionally healthy partner, because anything less than thoughtful, kind, respectful, caring etc will stick out like a sore thumb, and you'll easily identify the 'I'm better off single' feeling.

In short, stop focusing on how to be more emotionally available to others, and start focusing on being more emotionally available to yourself.

Have you tried therapy @piddocktrumperiness? I think that can really help. Do you think your issues might be rooted in childhood?

Thank you both.
Stellar advice. I have been seeing a therapist for quite some time, for other reasons.
I have also began to treat myself how I expect a future partner to and have been loving the results. It has helped me to maintain boundaries, put myself first and not feel guilty about it. I have bought myself things, cooked myself meals that I would typically order at a restaurant and the like.

I will continue to do this because it feels good :)

Go @piddocktrumperiness! It's good to hear you're doing that already. I didn't even realise it was a concept until I had counselling. Life changing. Even identifying the difference between what feels 'good' and what doesn't is a revelation!