Girlfriend has awful insomnia - Please help?

[hopingforhelp86]

Hi all - My girlfriend suffers from terrible insomnia, we've tried going to the doctors and they can't do anything to help. She's been prescribed sleeping pills and whilst they can sometimes work she doesn't want to rely on them and become dependant.

Not only does it take her ages to fall asleep, chances are she'll wake up 3/4 times throughout the night and the cycle continues. This is causing her to feel constantly miserable/exhausted and stressed. She works in a demanding job with long hours so this doesn't help either.

Are there any other sufferers on here that have coping mechanisms that can help please? Her energy levels are at an all time low 9 times out of 10 and it breaks my heart seeing her in a state. It's got to the point now where she will breakdown and cry as she's just had enough and is totally exhausted and fed up.

I bought blackout blinds for our bedroom, bought a new mattress, let her sleep on my original side of the bed as its more comfy for her, even tried no screen time before bed and turmeric pills.

It is starting to affect day to day life and is causing us both strain. I just want to be able to help her and make her feel better. Anyone out there with something we can try... please?

If she can afford it, private 1-1 CBT is very effective. If not, the CBT app Sleepio is almost as effective if she can follow it through and stick to the advice given in the sessions

I had this for almost a year it was crippling! The only thing that solved it was ASMR, I listened to ppl eating chalk... weird but true. I would’ve tried anything & I am so glad it worked.

My underlying issue was anxiety & eventually I had to address that.

Thanks for your comment! She actually has awful Tinnitus!!! And I mean REALLY bad. She cannot be in a room with utter silence.

Every night we listen to the sound of rain via Alexa and her phone combined at the same time on a relatively low volume. It’s on throughout the entire night

The most important tip that I was given was to reduce the time I spend in bed and don't do anything other than sleep while you're there. So you start off establishing what time you need to get up, then work backwards and get into bed at a time six hours before that. When you get in, you turn the lights straight out, no reading or looking at your phone, and when your alarm goes off, you get up right away - no dozing. For me, I had to get up at 7.45am, so I wasn't going to bed until 1.45am.

When I was told about this technique, I felt panicky at the thought of 'only' getting 6 hours of sleep per night, but really I was getting much less than that when I went to bed early and tried to lie in at the weekends, and I actually ended up staying asleep for longer using this method. It's counterintuitive but you only do it for a week or so to 'reset' your sleep and you can then start getting into bed a bit earlier.

I'm sorry to say it, but sharing a bed won't be helping her - having someone else there, making noise (even if it's just breathing and occasionally turning over) and giving out body heat, makes it so much harder to fall asleep. Is there a spare room one of you can go into while she works through this?

Ah, I see she has tinnitus. That's got to be a contributing factor! But it might still be worth trying other techniques, since it can hardly be worse than being at breaking point and crying with frustration.