Partners and mother's day

[Notanotherhun]

Do people on here have to remind their partners about mother's day? Should I have to?

Are your children very young? I wouldn't remind my DH no.

My toddler is 2 but it's the MIL card I mean. As in, is it my job to remind and sort said card?

If he wants to get something he will. No need to remind

No of course not, she's his mother!

@Notanotherhun

My toddler is 2 but it's the MIL card I mean. As in, is it my job to remind and sort said card?

Oh right, no definitely not

Thought as much. He has a strange relationship with her and I feel like I have to remind him to call her and keep in touch. Anyhow. Thanks for the replies.

What did he do before he was with you?

If your partner is not from the UK originally I think you should, as Mothers Day is not mid-Lent in some countries. Otherwise not.

@AryaStarkWolf, don't know. 40 this year and 15 years together.

[quote Notanotherhun]@AryaStarkWolf, don't know. 40 this year and 15 years together.[/quote]
Well either way, it's not your responsibility, have you been doing it for him the last 15 years?

Reminders yes. I realise that is ridiculous but nobody would get cards!

Then nobody gets cards

You’re not his secretary

Not your job. I don’t do Mother’s Day as it isn’t something we celebrate in our household, but DP’s mother expects a card and a small gift so he sorts it out. If he forgets, it’s his neck on the line.

I do remind my DH. My own mother is deceased, and our kids are old enough to sort something out for me themselves, so if I didn't mention it, chances are it'd pass him by altogether.

is it my job to remind and sort said card?

I would be seriously fucked off if my DS couldn't be arsed to get a card for me himself and expected his wife to "sort" it for him.

I feel like I have to remind him to call her and keep in touch.

You don't have to. It's their relationship not yours and maybe that is just how they are used to running their lives. But might be is a straw in the wind for how he will bring up your DC to treat you when they grow up.

I will remind and help if he asks but I will not do it for him - that’s my boundary!

I do remind mine but I wouldn't buy the card or anything for him.

I've never reminded dh about mother's day or his mum's birthday or anything. He will sometimes ask me what day mother's day is, for example, as I'm more likely to know. But I've never sourced a card or a present for anyone in his family. Same as he's never done that for mine. He's a grown up and if a card doesn't get sent, which sometimes it doesn't (on both our parts), then the one who was meant to send it has to deal with the consequences of that.

I would never remind DH, if his mum doesn't get anything that's not my problem.

Same with birthdays on his side, he's known these people all his life why should I be expected to care more about their events than he does.

DH has never reminded me of father's days, birthdays etc. I'm an adult and am expected to think for myself, so should he.

No you shouldn't have to.

I arranged a card and gift for my MIL from DH because she's been an amazing help to us lately. I did it at the same time as sorting my mum. My DH would have eventually sorted something but it would have been last minute.

I do it because I don't mind and I like shopping. it shouldn't be imposed on you and you shouldn't feel obliged.

I don’t remind mine as such but I usually say “I am getting XYZ fir my mum shall I get one for your Mum too,and don’t forget to get her a card”

I do it and I'm happy to.

My partner works in a more stressful job, working longer hours than I do, still does his share of chores, his share of family life with kids, as much as he can, barely has a social life, or time to do ' his things' or hobbies, enables me financially and generally puts himself bottom on the list of priorities, so yes I try and pick up the slack for family admin. I think it's part of being a team