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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Domestic abuse

8 replies

ladyre · 07/03/2021 20:50

Hie
I was abused by my partner at the start of the year and I've stayed with him hoping to make things works

He strangled me and gave me a black eye
We have a three month old baby

Can I still receive help and support aswel as report to the police after all this time

OP posts:
Iceskatingfan · 07/03/2021 21:00

Yes to all the above and you definitely should do. It’s common for abuse to escalate during a pregnancy and postnatal period when you are more vulnerable. I don’t want to worry you at a time of stress and I know from personal experience that it is not easy to leave an abusive relationship but please know that arranging is a predictive factor for his ultimately killing you. If you are struggling to believe that you deserve better, do it for your baby, this is not ok. A word of warning, the most dangerous time is when leaving the abusive relationship so plan it well and quietly, now is not the time to confront him and I would make sure that you have a safe place to go for you and the baby that he doesn’t know about before involving police. You will get really good advice on all of this from a domestic abuse charity, so why not call the National domestic abuse helpline on 08082000247 (assuming you are in the UK) when you have a moment without him and don’t forget to cover your tracks. Best of luck, you deserve better and you can have better, so can your baby xxx

Iceskatingfan · 07/03/2021 21:01

Strangling not arranging!!

JanFebAnyMonth · 07/03/2021 21:02

Definitely. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

MNHQ
HebeMumsnet · 07/03/2021 21:36

Hello, OP,

We're so sorry this is happening. We hope you don't mind but we've taken your photos down as we were concerned they might be identifying.

We'd echo other posters in encouraging you to seek help and report this. If you want any further support and advice, other than from the police, there are lots of contact numbers here on our domestic abuse webguide

Flowers
Mum497 · 07/03/2021 21:52

Hope you're ok OP.

Do you have any support in real life? Family of friends you can trust? So sorry this has happened to you. Could you give women's aid a call? They might be able to direct you and hold your hand through the process. Sending you lots of love.

sweetnessnfight · 07/03/2021 21:52

Yes, contact the police, contact women's aid then get half an hour free with a solicitor to understand your financial and guardianship rights. Contact the police now though because after 6 months assault is not taken seriously (I tried to get my ex done last month for him strangling me and other things after I'd had his baby but it was past the six month mark so they couldn't pursue it. Contact the police now.

WishingHopingThinkingPraying · 07/03/2021 21:53

Good luck OP. You're going to be ok as long as you get the hell away from this disgusting excuse for a partner and father.

JanFebAnyMonth · 07/03/2021 22:02

Women's Aid don't have any agenda and won't force you into doing anything you don't want to OP.

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