Is it me?

[AsLongAsIHaveMyTea]

I’ve been married so long, and it’s not happy. Some days, weeks there are happy times but generally I feel pretty bad. But I’m starting to think it’s me? I think I annoy him, I’ve always annoyed men really. He looks at me with such hate. If we have an argument I can’t just drop it, I feel like he needs to apologise but he doesn’t so I drag it out. I fake being happy all the time to my family and friends. I don’t k is who’s in the wrong? Maybe we are just really badly suited? I’m so sad

Think about leaving.It's not you, it's him. So many men really dislike women. I don't think he'll change. IME it only gets worse as time goes on and resentment builds. Think about what growing up was like, did you have to be wary of your mum or dad? Did they turn you into a "people pleaser?"

Oh yes definitely. I got married young and was told I had to be the one to keep the marriage and family happy

Thank you for your reply by the way

Meant to say : it's not YOU, it's him (not it's you, it's him).

I could have written that a few years ago

He made me feel like I was so unlovable, everything was my fault. I annoyed him and he would never take responsibility for anything he did and trust me he was a shit bag at times.

I left him just over a year ago and whilst it's been the hardest year of my life as it was never what I wanted as I loved him so much. I now realise it was never me.
No one should ever make another person feel like that.