So. Simply put, our sex life is a shambles.
We've been together for years, grown up dc. Sex used to be great up until about ten years ago. I'm not saying we were swinging from the chandeliers, but the frequency was right for both of us, and we were both enthusiastic and satisfied.
Anyway over the last ten years we've had various issues including porn, ED (definitely related), dwindling libido, menopause, mood swings, people staying with us making us feel self conscious in case of making a noise, etc. We've ended up in this situation where we don't communicate well (he's better at talking than I am, I tend to get very emotional and cry, and end up a snivelling wreck) and we have intermittent attempts at sex roughly monthly, sometimes it's fine and other times he either can't perform or has premature ejaculation. The whole sex thing has become the elephant in the room really, I think we both feel awkward and scared to even try sometimes which then obviously causes issues.
I feel like we've reached a crisis point where we either give up on it altogether, and agree to a sexless marriage, or we start from scratch and make a real effort to get back on track. We obviously need to sit down and talk it though to see what we both want and if we are on the same page.
What I'd like to know, is can anyone recommend any free online resources for sex therapy? I don't think either of us would feel comfortable speaking to a therapist, but if we do decide to try and resolve this, we would really need some guidance.