Feeling so guilty

[xsher]

Before I start this thread, where I live there are currently no covid restrictions so I'm not breaking any rules. I'm feeling absolutely awful so please be nice

So my best friend of 15 years slept with a boy last year after a night out. We both know the boy and after sleeping together she became a bit obsessed with him but he wasn't interested in her and just saw it as a one night stand.

Last night I went to a small gathering at a friends house and this boy was there. After getting far too drunk me and him ended up sleeping together. Afterwards we both agreed not to say anything and to just forget about it.

But now I am feeling absolutely awful, I honestly can't stop thinking about it and I feel like the worst person in the world. I know my friend would be absolutely devastated if she knew about this which is just making me feel so so bad. I feel as though I can't function because the guilt is eating me up I really really regret this

I was just looking for advice and to see if anyone had any similar experiences? I love my friend to pieces and actually can't believe that I even did this I feel ashamed of myself.

@JovialNickname that was such a nice comment with some really good advice. Thank you so much it has made me feel abit better about the whole thing

I agree with what you've said, telling her would be a way of me just getting it off my chest to relieve my guilt which would be selfish on my part. Doing so would really upset her so I don't know if it's worth even mentioning it or if I should just try and forget it now and never speak of it again.

Obviously if it was her boyfriend or somebody she had actually been in a relationship with I would have to tell her, but in this situation I don't know if I should or not?

@category12 yes I've been suffering all weekend with beer fear and awful anxiety about this whole thing I am feeling slightly better today and am starting to see the situation more clearly now although I still feel like a horrible person!!

@Jesskir89 thanks for that. Yes if it was her boyfriend or even someone she had been serious with in the past I wouldn't even hesitate about telling her, but as it's just somebody she slept with once a year ago I don't know if it's worth the upset it could cause her

@BlueThistles no she doesn't speak to him anymore, she's kind of seeing someone else now. She does mention him sometimes about who he's seeing etc but I don't think she has any feelings towards him.

She’ll never know, so it won’t hurt her. So you really haven’t done anything that bad. Seriously. X

Is he a boy or a man?

Great advice for you here. I want to add that the beer fear / anxiety is obviously alcohol related. It makes everything seem so much worse. A positive from this experience is that you can look at your alcohol intake and have a little reflection. You're only young and you'd be doing your future self a big favour.

@Lovelydiscusfish @Amdone123 thank you both

Yes it's definitely a lesson for me, I hate the feeling of pure dread the day after drinking especially when things like this have happened. I'm going to save myself from this in the future by drinking less, I just hope I can forgive myself and stop feeling the guilt from this mistake x

@pinkyredrose he's a man. I'm 24 and he's 35 x

@Candidly

Yeah I’d be mega angry if I was your friend and questioning your loyalty to me. Better keep your legs shut next time IMO. Bring on the snowflake haters who disagree

You sound just like her friend . A past stalker who gets obsessed ? Take it the same happens to you a lot . Snowflake

@meganiris1922 I think that poster is someone with a new lockdown hobby of slut-shaming women on Mumsnet to try and start an argument. I think they are best not getting any attention.

(I realise that by saying this I HAVE just given them attention).

I am however, now I read this post again, interested to know whether “snowflake haters” are haters OF snowflakes, or haters who ARE THEMSELVES snowflakes. It isn’t very clear....... 🤷‍♀️

Ok, I have serious doubts about anyone using the term 'snowflake haters.' 😂😂

[quote Lovelydiscusfish]@meganiris1922 I think that poster is someone with a new lockdown hobby of slut-shaming women on Mumsnet to try and start an argument. I think they are best not getting any attention.

(I realise that by saying this I HAVE just given them attention).

I am however, now I read this post again, interested to know whether “snowflake haters” are haters OF snowflakes, or haters who ARE THEMSELVES snowflakes. It isn’t very clear....... 🤷‍♀️[/quote]
Haha exactly this. Also usually the term snowflake is used to describe a person quick to identify something being hurtful / someone being overly emotional about a situation. Which would mean the poster who used that description is in fact the real snowflake on this thread...

@Borntohula haha I agree! I should have ignored the comment as soon as I saw the phrase snowflake haters😂

[quote xsher]@Borntohula haha I agree! I should have ignored the comment as soon as I saw the phrase snowflake haters😂[/quote]
I think you were expecting people to be hard on you so you accepted it. I hope you've found most of the responses genuinely reassuring/helpful. :)

@Borntohula thank you so much. I was expecting a lot more backlash so found it really heartwarming when everybody was being so kind and understand towards me, I'll definitely be coming back here if I need any advice in the future