Baby and sex

[heavyrainatnight]

Sorry to ask. But how do others manage this?

I’m worried Oh feels a bit pushed out.

Have sex when baby is asleep?

Is that what most people do? He sleeps in a next to me crib.

Do you want to have sex?

No 😂

I know that it should be that simple but I do feel bad.

Yep same set up here. Baby in next to me crib asleep and that's our grown up bonding time.

Or if baby's have a light doze and don't want to risk disturbing him, we'll take our business to another room with monitor on.

IF you want to have sex, just try and relax and enjoy yourself

How old is the baby?

3 months

If you don’t want to have as then don’t have sex. But otherwise, do it when baby is asleep.

If you don't want to have sex then don't.

If you actually want to do it for yourself rather than just to service your husband and his "manly needs" then just do it on the sofa after the baby is asleep in your room.

You need to talk to your DH. You may worry he is being pushed out but has he actually said this?
I slept with my DH 4/5 weeks after DS was born, all instigated by me as soon as I stopped bleeding. DH had no inclination until then as he was waiting for me to recover from childbirth etc.
You may be worrying about nothing

Baby is too young to be left alone sleeping. It would have to be at night when he’s in the crib, but OH sleeps in a different room and I go to bed really early!

3 months is still quite little and only a short time in a long term relationship - don't put pressure on yourself to have sex if things aren't lining up, it'll happen when you're ready. At 3 months, I was still wreck and still just focused on the wee one and sleep. If you're not fussed, wait til you are.

My love, never have sex you don't want. Are you only worrying about not doing it because you think he will be sulky if you don't? A decent man will understand after three months that you aren't ready and while he can think "I wish we could / I miss it" etc, they wouldn't make you feel obliged. In fact, decent men wouldn't be able to enjoy having sex with someone if they knew the other person didn't really want to.

If you don’t want to then don’t but it’s perfectly possible to have sex when you have a baby, my 2 oldest were born exactly a year apart 😬 the beds not the only place you can have sex but sounds like you don’t want to so don’t

Hi OP my baby is 4 months and since 3 months me and OP go downstairs and watch films because baby goes to sleep at 7. We just stick the baby monitor on and have some adult time, no harm done. Although, I'm not telling you what to do. Just saying, don't feel bad on yourself you can see them and hear them at all times.

We did it while baby kipped in Moses basket or carrycot. Either during the day or in the early evening, on the sofa if necessary. By 4 months baby was sleeping 7-10/11 upstairs in basket so we had some time. But I wanted the sex.

It’s 30 years ago now, but I still laugh when I remember. DD, aged about six months, was sleeping in her cot beside my side of the bed. DH and I were deep in the throes of passion when I became aware of someone touching my arm.
I looked across to find DD patting my arm with an expression of such earnest sympathy and concern on her little face that DH and I fell about laughing!
It didn’t seem to have traumatised her - she is now 30 and happy in a relationship of her own.

We either did it when the baby was asleep (but both of mine were in a Moses basket at the end of the bed when they were babies - we didn't have a sidecar crib) or we went into another room for a quickie. You say the baby is too young to be left unattended - what happens if you need the loo or want to have a shower?! I know the advice is to sleep in the same room as your child until they're 6 months old, but pragmatically most parents leave even young babies alone in a room for 5 minutes at a time while making lunch or putting the laundry on...

If you don’t want to have sex, please don’t and don’t get talked into it by a horny DH. He can sort himself out for the next year or so until you’ve finished breast feeding

@adventurealice Where did OP say she is breastfeeding? I missed that.

@heavyrainatnight

Baby is too young to be left alone sleeping. It would have to be at night when he’s in the crib, but OH sleeps in a different room and I go to bed really early!

At 12 weeks mine were sleeping through the night in their own room. We had one of those baby monitor things so you could keep an ear out for them. Worked for me as I was back at work, FT. Persoanlly I didn't feel like sex until I was back in shape and had ost the baby fat. Confidence thing I guess. That was at about 12 weeks too, maybe a tad later. .

Not being critical pye but was this recent? As not recommended by NHS.

We used put the babies in their carrycot and put them down at the bottom of the bed on the floor so they couldn't possibly see us if they woke up! 😂

I had this issue op well still do. Baby was in next to me crib now in cot in our room and it always freaked me out the thought of dtd with him at the side of us so once a week or so we'd go out the room for it but our door open so could hear if he woke

@heavyrainatnight I get what you are saying about baby sleeping next to you but how long are your sex sessions

We used to leave baby in her bedroom (in Moses basket) and then transfer her after doing the deed. Or like others have said go into a different room.