I really thought these things only happened with bitchy teenage girls.
I've got two particular friends who I have known for over 30 years, lets call them Suzie and Sally. We only started going out/meeting up in a group of 3 over the last 10 years.
I have seen them both separately over the years, we don't always go out together, but we go out in a group of three around 4 times a year, and always at Christmas.
There has been the odd indication over the years from Suzie that she doesn't like Sally that much. We all had a great day out to an event around 7 years ago and a couple of weeks after that we were out with other friends and she made the comment "someone else came along - you know when two's company and three's a crowd.
Suzie likes talking about herself and I get the impression likes to get me on my own so she doesn't have to listen to Sally.
In November 2019 the three of us went out for a lovely meal and Sally disclosed something very sensitive to both of us and we had a very long chat about it. Suzie made it clear of her thoughts and she should tell her family.
I know we've had the pandemic since March last year, but Suzie has now blanked Sally and doesn't respond to any texts. I think she has seen this as an ideal time to end the friendship. I really think she thought the disclosure was really boring (as she likes to talk about herself) and she thought I never want to hear that again.
Suzie has spent the last year trying to get me to leave Sally out of any plans for meals etc. She will say things like do you mind if we leave her out as I don't want to hear about her job. Even when it was my birthday and I would have liked to have gone out with both of them. Even at Christmas she wanted to involve another friend and leave Sally out, which was definitely out of the question and I would never do that.
When I did arrange something for the three of Suzie made an excuse that she had to do something else.
Sally is very upset to be blanked, especially after the disclosure. She asked me to raise it with Suzie which I did and Suzie wasn't happy and said Sally was a trouble causer. She wasn't in the slightest bit happy I had raised any of this and said Sally was my friend, not hers.
Sally is now paranoid and feeling very vulnerable. She said she wouldn't have chosen to make the disclosure if she didn't see Suzie as a friend and now she doesn't want to know her.
It wasn't the ideal time to choose to end a friendship.
I haven't told Sally that Suzie was trying to get me to exclude her from everything.
It puts me in a difficult position . I think Suzie is confused about what constitutes a friend! She has had Sally's number for the past 10 years and has always contacted her to arrange things so she is her friend as well as mine - it's a cop out to excuse her behaviour to say she's not her friend!
Sorry for the longwinded post. This is really getting to me. It's not fair that Suzie has put me in this position when there are only the three of us in the this particular friendship circle. I'm having very negative thoughts about her as this is very nasty.
I think this explains why she has so few friends and her relationships with her family have broken down. She has no school or college friends and no friends from earlier jobs, despite getting friendly with dozens of people over the years.