'I dunno' stock answer to everything.

[MyWifeIsCrazy]

Dh why do you think I'm this upset constantly?
'I dunno'.

Do men like my husband just seriously think their wives are just miserable for the sake of being miserable?
I just nag apparently... when asked why I do that ...'I dunno'.

I'm the least cryptic person in the world. I've said so many times that me telling someone and chanting a list of things that need doing on a daily basis is soul destroying, mindless, repetitive bullshit and shouldn't need to happen, but he's still none the wiser as to why I'm annoyed.

I've said, 'imagine for a second if you went to work and just sat there awaiting instruction to start work, clear up after yourself, do what's expected of you. Would your team/boss/anyone think you were anything less than crazy or idle. So why do I need to be allocated chief whipper and announce every morning that a dishwasher needs emptying, if a baby throws food on floor pick it up, clean cat litter, don't let toddler empty glasses out of the dishwasher, hot drinks go put of reach, the list goes on and on.

He says I'm lazy, what would I know about working. I'm looking after a toddler, I'm pregnant and suffering sickness daily and I do everything for older school child.
If I'm so lazy and he does everything like he claims, why am I so miserable?
Why's he think doing a packet lunch in the morning an issue that needs sighing, clashing around and storming out of the house upon completion.

If I'm throwing up and not doing much in the morning am I lazy? Or am I trying to not be sick and just eat. Does he therefore need to just sit on his arse ignoring the kids because, well she's doing fuck all so I'll do nothing.
If I go for a shower should I really have to endure children smashing at the door and wailing and when I ask what the hell is going on and what he's doing I get asked 'well what are you doing?'
My head is spinning, I'm clearly trying to get washed, why would you say that? It makes zero sense.

I just want to hide somewhere and never come back.

Your husband is a selfish manchild. This will never change, so you need a serious rethink.

What's he adding to your life, other than spunk? Is there a different way to live?

Some days I feel suicidal. Whether it's pregnancy hormones or this shit I've no idea.

He let toddler get a glass out of the dishwasher today because he wasn't supervising them. I was so instantly angry because yet again his poor choices lead yo dangerous situations, in this case glass all over the floor and more work for me.
He just said he had to go to work when I was yelling at him about glass and a toddler in the middle of it, picked up the large chunks and told me I was already vacuuming so could just vacuum it up and basically stop whining.

He’s a twat. All child, house and mental load work is yours. His role is providing bacon.

With the benefit of having dealt with my very own manchild bellend, my advice would be to go absolutely fucking nuclear, scare the shite out of him and make him buck up his ideas before child 2 arrives. If that means chucking him out, so be it.

I didn’t do this - I should have but didn’t - and it got steadily worse, and I’m divorcing him. My life is far easier without him, I just wish I’d done it years ago. You’ve been warned.

Nothing will change. You have an older child, a toddler and one on the way. He's getting a growing family with minimal parenting.

He'd not think of the mental load as an actual real thing.
He doesn't think of planning laundry so sport uniforms and school uniforms are clean is a thing. Supervising homework and checking school announcements isn't a thing.
Looking after a toddler isn't a thing. Its just sitting doing nothing.
Being pregnant isn't an illness so that's not something to concern yourself with.
Cleaning...well what else am I doing, apparently it's not like I wash the clothes by hand.
He mows the lawn once a week so that's exactly the same workload (it's a huge lawn but still).
If kids by some miracle get taken out I pack for them so they have food and drinks and sunscreen. Etc etc. That's nothing as well.

I would reduce your stress by stopping ha having repetitive circular arguments that get nowhere. You are being deliberately stonewalled.

Actions speak louder than words. What are your thoughts about what you might do? We can’t always change others but we can always change ourselves.

He is holding a lot of contempt and resentment of you.

He is punishing you and resisting you.

He is not collaborating or cooperating as a team.

He is deliberately doing less than he would at work or in any other social situation.

Sounds like a misogynist as well - doesn’t value family life.

I wouldn’t let him wind you up so badly - because you don’t want to be that angry person and your DC don’t need an angry Mum.

As he only brings contempt to the household I would ask him to leave.

Your MH and family harmony is more important than keeping this lump housed.

Drop the rope - don’t get upset and frustrated - take some action.

There’s no cure here except getting rid.

There are thousands of men like this. More men like this than ones who can act like normal human beings really.

Lazy, selfish, stonewalling, entitled. They say ‘dunno’ because they can’t say the really answer. I know and I don’t care. I don’t want to pull my weight because every message I’ve been given in my life has told me that a woman is there to serve me. That’s what I want.

You I’ll have loads of women here tell you that they made the mistake of taking on one of these men and the only solution was getting rid of them, and even with kids, job etc life is now easier.

You need to get rid of him.

I wouldn't tolerate any of that for a nanosecond. Honestly, tell him to shape up or ship out. Life would be easier without him, believe me

You are getting good straightforward advice here. Your main stress is living with someone who just doesn't give a shit about you. He never will, unless by some miracle you shock/scare him. You need to make firm unshakeable plans to dump him. It's the only thing that will make a difference. No amount of arguments however logical or reasonable or even heated are going to change his basic attitude.

He knows fine well, and doesn't care

It's soul destroying living with someone who really does not give a shit about you. I know it must be hard with 2 kids and another on the way, but can you start planning for a different future?

It's not that he doesn't know. He doesn't care. Sorry

You need to start accepting that truth. Wondering what's going on in his head won't get you anywhere.

It doesn't matter what he thinks is a thing. The things aren't actually things to him, because he doesn't care. Same as if he was upset about the football score. It'd be a thing to him, but not to you.

You need to be away from him.

Can you leave him? If not, be away from him emotionally. It won't get the practical stuff done, but it'll stop you having to do it all, and be pissed off with him for not doing it at the same time.

What do you do specifically for him? Is there anything you could stop doing, that would reduce your workload and not affect the rest of you?