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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Is this cheating will he ever change

38 replies

PixiePiex · 05/03/2021 00:19

Hi all

My dp has been caught again texting a girl and not just general chit chat I'm sure you get what I mean.

Is this cheating can we come back from this it's not been the first time my trust is broken and as is my heart

All advice welcome

OP posts:

RantyAnty · 09/03/2021 06:44

If you marry him, this is what your life will be with him, unless he decides to run off with someone else later on.

End it now while you can.

AnyFucker · 09/03/2021 06:50

No, he will never change

At the moment you have a cheating boyfriend. If you marry him you will have an unfaithful husband.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 09/03/2021 06:54

You can’t possibly marry him .... in his eyes that would be a green light to do whatever he likes knowing you’ll put up with it. You deserve better.

ZombeaArthur · 09/03/2021 07:22

I don’t like the term cheating, it implies there’s a black and white line and everything on one side of the line is cheating and everything on the other side is fine. I prefer to consider whether I find a partner’s behaviour to be faithful and whether what they do/ have done is acceptable to me.

If what he’s done and continues to do is not acceptable to you, then consider ending things.

arethereanyleftatall · 09/03/2021 07:48

Sexting?

It is massively intimate. Yes, it's cheating. And, almost worse, it's done with the 'I'm not doing anything wrong' caveat.

And, worse. He will carry on doing it. It's so easy. I could go on tinder tonight at 10pm, spend one minute uploading a new profile, and be sexting by 10.10pm. At 11pm I could delete all messages and my profile. Asleep partner would be none the wiser.,

Closetbeanmuncher · 09/03/2021 14:37

Why would you allow someone so fundamentally untrustworthy access to your assets by marrying them?

Furthermore why would you want to stay with a thirsty pathological liar in the first place??

Time to ged rid and raise your bar OP.

Skyla2005 · 09/03/2021 21:58

You said again so no he won't change sorry you need to get rid you will never have any peace of mind with him

1FootInTheRave · 09/03/2021 22:10

Yes it is cheating.

Get some self respect asap.

Dery · 10/03/2021 09:35

@MsDogLady is right.

And yes, it’s cheating. A friend of mine discovered her then fiancé chatting on-line to other women. She nearly called off the wedding but he persuaded her to go ahead. However as time went by, he did it again and they are now divorced.

My DH and I have had periods of open relationship but it was something we both chose and a long path to get there. I do see and have experienced how a relationship can accommodate sexual relationships with other people. But it requires complete openness and honesty and is most definitely not for everyone. In fact, it’s not for most people.

You were apart for a year and he still hasn’t learnt his lesson. So there’s every reason to believe he will do this again. And again. And again. So you need to decide whether you can live with that or not. My friend couldn’t. She’s very happily settled with someone else now.

hardboiledeggs · 10/03/2021 16:33

He's done it more than once now, he's shown you who he is, time to take notice and leave. So sorry.

AryaStarkWolf · 10/03/2021 16:45

So he did it before and you broke up because of it but he still did it again? You already gave him a 2nd chance and he blew it, how many are you planning to give him before it's the last one?

Marineboy67 · 10/03/2021 16:52

Fool me once shame on you, Fool me twice shame on me! How many more times?

Frik · 10/03/2021 17:44

You've got everyone telling you to leave him. And they are all right. I think you know deep down too. End it. And don't give in to his panicking and upset. He's the cheat and can't be trusted. It will drain you. Wondering all the time. You deserve so much better love.

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