breakup

[wow1111]

someone to talk to would be nice at the moment, i am not handling my break up well, i mean im getting up and out to work and everything, but i just keep having moments when i just get so sad about the breakup. i still need to see my ex on weekends for a brief amount of time, and i have tried being nice with minimal contact and then not talking and nothing seems to be helping me move on from the situation, at all. im just finding it so difficult, surely after a few months it still shouldnt be this bad?? im missing him more and more every day, and realistically i should be forgetting him a little less everyday, hes on my mind 24/7 and its just driving me crazy :(

i am meditating, walking, watching tv, just trying everything to distract myself and nothing is working :(

Can you find some volunteering work to keep you buys? where people rely on you for help?

*busy

i work and i am also at uni, so i dont actually have much time as such to do any volunteer work, i am kept very busy, but even when i am busy he is always on my mind

Just wanted to comment to talk if you want, I’m in the same boat as well and it’s only been a week. I read somewhere that a break up is like grieving and it takes around a month for every year you were together to start to feel better. I don’t know if this is rubbish or not. It’s horrible isn’t it, I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t seem to function properly. It was me that finally wanted the split as well as couldn’t continue the way things were so I don’t know why I feel like this. How long were you together? I don’t know any good advice to give as this is the first time I’ve been in this situation as well and we were together for 15 years. But here if you want to vent

Hi glitterfairy, i appreciate this thankyou! it is weird because we had a lot on last year, and towards the end of the year i did think that we needed space, but i didnt say anything to him, because i knew he did nowhere to go, even though majority of the time we were amazing, i just think things got on top of us. we were together almost 8 years.. coming up to our wedding anniversary to :( i know im perfectly okay by myself, but i just feel lost without him :(

I think you tend to dwell on all the good times you had together also which makes you sad. I’ve written a list of all the bad things and I refer back to it whenever I’m starting to get upset and it helps a tiny bit! 8 years together is a long time as well and it’s difficult trying to figure out who you are without him. It’s harder as we have kids so can’t go no contact, do you have kids? No contact would probably be easier because I know I always feel worse or miss him more after we’ve seen each other or spoke. But I guess no contact can’t be considered with kids. Maybe try and reconnect with friends or try new hobbies or exercise. These are things I’ve been advised to do. Just hope it gets better coz I know how you feel, it’s awful

i do try and think of the bad things, but honestly, they were minor in relation to our relationship as a whole. we dont have kids, but as silly as it sounds, we do have pets, which he has on a weekend, i have tried asking him not to have them for a while but they're our babies, so he says he still wants to see them, which i wouldnt want to stop, because i know hell enjoy the weekends with them. i have actually been speaking to a few old friends, which has been nice and been doing exercises etc (luckily lost a bit of weight woo haha)

Can you not be out of the house when he comes to collect the dogs? Not ideal I know but it might help.
Are you regretting the split? You say the bad things were minor but obviously not if you split over them.
You sound like you're getting on with your life, keeping busy. Not much else you can do. Give it time.

No, we do try the best that we can so there's no contact. My husband left me, I only wanted space, I just think these minor problems have been amplified due to restrictions and personal stress as they have never been a problem before.