When did you discussed future with new partner

[Miri05]

I am 36 with one DS who is 4, divorced and he is 30 no kids never been married. We met online about 3,5 months ago. We are seeing each other often and really enjoy each other company. There is a lot of affection between us , but we don’t talk about future(which I kind of get - it’s early). I really want one more child, but have no idea if he wants children or if he can see himself having children in next 1-2years. He is young, but I feel like I am in a little bit of rush (because of my age) and don’t want to waste year with someone who might want kids down the line (when I can’t anymore). I would ideally be with someone who wants kids in next 1-2years, but not sure how long we should be together before I bring it up. At what point did you start discussing potentially having children ? Getting married etc?

Tbh op its different for you as you already have a child. I wouldn't let my child meet a new partner until around a year in. Not judging anyone that doesn't wait this long but I've been there as a child and was introduced to a few boyfriends. So given the fact you have a child I wouldn't be thinking of another child with someone after 3 months and I doubt he will be thinking this any time soon either. You could casually drop it into convo to find out ifnit is something he wants for his future but I wouldn't push this yet.

I discussed the basics at about the point we agreed to be exclusive so maybe 2 weeks in. I didn’t want anymore kids and sort my contraception to do my utmost to avoid them. I wanted him to be aware that were I to end up in the small percentage where contraception failed I would not continue the pregnancy (more babies is 100% not an option). We were both keen to stress that we wanted exclusive and eventually committed but that co-habiting and marriage were unlikely. We both have too much complex financial shit and bad relationship histories and I don’t want another divorce and the risk that poses to my hard won financial security. I’m also loath to give up my independence, don’t want a blended family etc...

If it’s on your mind then talk about it. Nothing is set in stone but if your DP never wants kids, cohabitation or marriage wouldn’t it be better to know that now?

2 or so dates in. If he didn't want the same things no point in carrying on. Also pointless if you can't openly discuss your future and what you want.
Seen friends waste years because they won't talk about what they want.

I met my partner online and we had the conversation before we even met. We were both firmly decided that we didn't want children or marriage and neitherof us wanted to waste our time!

This has always been brought up when initially chatting with new partners in the 'getting to know you stage', next time you're talking about your dc could you casually ask him whether he's ever wanted children?

Absolutely agree that this is the kind of thing you talk about in the early stages in a 'what's your view on ......' kind of way.
@Peace43 - I could have written what you said. It's really important to align with your partner on these things.