Almost bullied to suicide!

[SugarfreeBlitz]

Last time I was very physically ill I had a family member who goaded and bullied me relentlessly so that I almost committed suicide. I had a lot of therapy and am a stronger person and yet every day I'm almost surprised that I'm still here.
I am currently having another round of hospital "tests" ( and also just starting Psychotherapy again), and guess what- the abuse has begun! Another family member has been accusing me of things I haven't done but not to my face- to other people! (How cowardly)
Another family member is ignoring my messages and telling lies that I'm ignoring them.
Do they actually want me dead or something????!!!! At least, that's how it feels- but I see through all their nonsense and have support this time. Anyone else know where I'm coming from? I can see they are the ones with issues and at least I'm getting the right help.

Bump! I havnt got any advice so I'm bumping post in hope someone will jump on it and advise you, however the family members that treat you this way are just awful, I would block them all xx

@Itstimetoquit thankyou so much! I am battling with my MH and have distanced, but am also starting to defend myself. Just started counselling and therapy, so hopefully that will help me be more resilient.

Well done for continuing therapy, and you have support this time. They probably can't stand this and trying to derail you from getting better. But you can choose to not engage. Focus on yourself and working through the therapy , they don't deserve the headspace.X

The thing is op you can never win against these sorts by keeping them in your life. 'Defending yourself' is only going to work if it includes blocking and removing these people from your life.

You don't mention if the initial bullying was family too? Often when we are raised with narcissists ect...in out family, we end up with friendships and relationships with similarity toxic people.

Any kind of spoken defence against these sorts is usually pointless, often others are already under their spell too and may be used against you like flying monkeys.

The trick is to pull the weed out at the roots. The bad'uns and any who associate with them.

Hopefully your therapy will give you the strength to do this and move forward with your life and realise that you cannot change other people by changing yourself and that words will not change these lions into lambs. Get yourself away and safe.

Yes it's family and yes it's hard. I think we will probably have to leave the family, but doing so maybe hard. I posted another post www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4182268-Kicked-when-I-am-down
I also think they might not want to let us go... someone else will be in line for abuse then. Last time I had therapy two other family members have a major breakdown with each other because I refused to take the blame so they turned on each other.

So sorry to hear what you have been through. It's great that you recognise that the problem lies with them.

Keep reminding yourself of this and the fact that their disgusting behaviour only reflects on them. It is not about you and it does not belong to you.

I have found Dr. Terry Lynch's book 'Selfhood' very helpful. It doesn't deal with bullying specifically but has a lot of useful info on boundaries and building your sense of self. Also Pete Walker has some great resources for dealing with emotional trauma. www.pete-walker.com/

Thanks so much @Automaticforthepeople I will get that book! I used to think it was all my fault and I believed what they were telling me, that I was a failure, fat, a bad person, everything was my fault lalalalala.... then I had therapy and started to see that I could make a new career. They absolutely hate that one and tell me how selfish I am.

Yeah. Selfish me to have the career of my choice. Not their choice. It's unbelieveable really, but I know it's not me with the issues.

No problem Sugarfree :)

Yes, it can be so easy to fall into the trap of thinking you are to blame for other people's behaviour. The effects of bullying/emotional abuse can be so devastating.

Fantastic that you are now placing the blame where it belongs and can see a new career for yourself.

Thanks so much @Automaticforthepeople its very painful, but I am limping forwards.
@Sahm101 thanks for your kind words. I am choosing not to engage. I'm not NC, but LowC. I've stopped making the effort, but will respond, if that makes sense. I'm sure they realise because I used to try so hard to please them.