Sister is not fine

[SugarfreeBlitz]

To cut a long story short, my sister is having a hard time at work due to the nature of her work in the pandemic. BUT I feel attacked by her because she acts high and mighty, talks about all the good things she does and makes out that Im a really selfish horrible person. I do a lot for charity and keep it to myself, plus my life has been a lot harder up til now because I haven't had things handed to me on a plate like she has. I also am battling with my MH and having tests, which I haven't told her about. I don't want to argue with her, but I am open to ways of handling her because I am JUST SO BLOODY TIRED of being someone she takes pot shots at when she's not happy with her life.

My mother was telling me the other day about how my sister always compares herself to our other sibling ( the wealthy one!) I felt sad and initially wondered why my mother doesn't make her feel secure. But, I remember my parents play the old "Divide and conquer" game to make everyone play the "pick me " game. I stopped playing a while ago and stopped justfying myself to them, but am having therapy again now. Just want to find a healthier way forwards. I am not ok with this toxic sludge.

Tell her you do loads for charity or don’t take it that when she says stuff she’s wants glorious admiration for that it’s a slight on you, rather give her the adulation she’s clearly not getting from your parents

It's so hard because I always do tell her she's doing well but it never seems to go in. I know she's had some therapy, but she seems blind to the kinds of manipulation that she's still falling for- and she also is (in her current state) an enabler of both parents chronic narcissism.

I do big her up, but I haven't told her what good deeds I've done because I'm not someone who feels it necessary to justify my existence. Obviously we can't all be saving the day and some of us just have normal jobs. It doesn't make me a bad or selfish person because I'm struggling to maintain my MH or doing a job which she doesn't seem to think is relevant.

On the surface she seems to have everything going for her (apart from a difficult worklife) I always take the flak and don't stick up for myself, but I'm not well and my tolerance is slipping.