Please help - What would be the point of having a Pornhub account?

[HatMancox]

So I discovered my partner has an actual 'account' on Pornhub...why would this be necessary when you can just download the App and go on there and view?

He recently requested a new password.

Obviously he will stonewall/ghost/minimise because that's what he does, but this sort of behaviour makes me paranoid. And yes, I have seen this in his emails because I snooped - when you are wondering what sort of man you are really with it's natural to look for evidence of creepy behaviour.

Of course he will justify with '99.9% of men look at naked women/porn/escorts/adultwork sites, and if they say they don't they are lying' and I'm the one with the problem, but I'm so unhappy I feel I'm always looking for evidence that he's seeking other sexual gratification ( and often finding it). I also only recently (after four years together) found in his emails that he had signed up for Adultwork and Nimfomaine sites as a new user, at a time when we were new and in love and planning a future together, which has now spoilt all those memories. It is literally eating me up. He says he loves me and wants to be with me and asks 'isn't everything I've done since enough to convince you how much I love you?' and yes he is good in lots of ways, but I cannot come to terms with how innocently I thought he was a good guy and he was secretly been a complete perv behind my back. It makes me feel sick. He recently added loads of new women to Instagram, girls young enough to be my daughter, in very sexual, open legged poses, which I kicked off about and he deleted. It's simply not acceptable in my book and an insult to me.

Help me out here please, I really don't know what to do. I'm at the point of ending this relationship but need to know if I'm crazy or if I should look at all the good/solid/reliable/loving/supportive behaviour he exhibits and come to terms with this other side. I'm so, so unhappy and cannot cope anymore, I feel my life has imploded. Has he got some sort of addiction?

The thing is everyone says he is lucky to have me, as they say he's lucky to have such a lovely and attractive partner (please don't read this as a boast) when he himself is ok-looking but has become really quite overweight. Not that it bothers me as for me it's all about personality but maybe could be a factor.

Thanks for reading and I'm hoping for some balanced, sensible responses x

To answer your thread title: You need an account in order to make playlists, save favourites, and have the ability to comment on videos.

A lot of people created accounts when Pornhub made their premium paid accounts free for a month, as a taster. You had to signup to get the premium features (no ads, HD videos.) If you then reverted to a free account there would be no reason to delete it. And of course it then gives Pornhub the ability to send marketing emails.

As to your other questions, nobody can tell you what to do, but only what they would do. For me, this wouldn't be a problem, as I enjoy both making and consuming porn. For other women this would be a hard no - zero tolerance.

Where you draw your line is up to you, and you don't have to justify that to anybody. It seems he's been pretty clear that he's not going to stop using porn. So if it's something that you won't tolerate and don't want to find yourself driven to police (which will eventually drive you insane), you may need to walk away now.

Hmm account benefits I guess would be to comment, save favourites, download content etc. You are not crazy though. You deserve more. My ex H was addicted to porn and a lot of what you says brings it all back. All the secrecy and lies. I think if he cannot admit to it and seek help then your relationship is unlikely to get any better, sorry.

I think on most sites an account means that you can save videos to your favourites. So if you have some you keep coming back to you don’t have to search around each time or lose them.

Of course there will be other functionalities like adding ‘friends’.

Adult work though? Oh hell NO. That’s a site solely for sex workers to find clients and vice versa. There is no valid reason to sign up to that site unless you’re looking for a sex worker’s services.

A porn site wouldn’t bother me at all, but an account on AdultWork would have me walking away, sorry.

It doesn’t matter whether anyone else is okay with porn use in a relationship though, what matters is your and his boundaries and whether you trust one another and respect them.

I have a porn huh account , I made it many years ago when I wanted to save videos I liked. I don’t really watch porn anymore (maybe once a month) but when I did watch regularly I wanted to save the ones I particularly enjoyed. I don’t have a sex addiction and I’m definitely not a ‘perv’ which I do find offensive.

However, clearly this goes deeper than that. You said yourself you are deeply unhappy in the relationship, that’s enough reason to leave (porn account or not). If he continues to sneak around and lie about it then he clearly doesn’t respect you.

What’s making you stay?

It is not 'necessary'. It is supporting the exploitation of women, it is helping promote certain sexual practices as 'normal' or to be expected, so young men pressurise young women into things they do not wish to do, or the young women into things about their appearance. Anal sex, sex without condoms, that it is somehow wrong to have a 'bush', to give some examples.

As others have said you get more premuim content with an account,Less pop up ads and a better viewing experience,The general stuff on the main pages is crap really so an account is needed to in my opinion, I have no issues with porn as such but the click bait stuff isnt worth watching so like anything you pay and get a better product so to speak, I think it might be helpful to have the conversation as to where your boundaries lay in your relationship.Is there room to compromise? Could you be happy if he uses it discreetly when your not their for example? Its an age old battle this one with pro v against porn,If you have a lovely relationship otherwise than this issue it seems a shame to throw all that away,An honest frank conversationi is needed,He may not be willing to give it up you may not be able to stand it but there couldbe a compromise reached if you are both willing to try to save your relationship,

There's only one way to get through all this and it's communication.

Men may not understand this but they use porn to heal emotional wounds/trauma. They watch it to fill the void that opens constantly throughout the years. Alot of men are desperate to stop but can't.
The best thing to do is decide together you want to stop the porn use.
One of the best way to do it is to have more sex together. The more you have the more he will not feel the need to watch porn. I'm not putting the onus on you, men have hormones and needs to. If he's not having enough sex in real life porn will be there to help him get through but will also ruin his mental health in the long run.
Life is hard, we are all non-monogamous animals trying our best to dedicated our real life's to one person so we hide and turn to porn for help.

I wouldn’t be as concerned about pornhub as adult work. It’s an escort service site. He is likely messaging women for sex not just watching porn. Check his Google maps and messages that look innocent eg are you working? Google the number, Look for cash withdrawals from bank accounts, That’s how I caught my husband out and are now separated. Look for a 2nd phone too ad there a common trick. Honestly all that aside your not happy, he is being disrespectful to you and thinks you should just put up with it.

Also sorry, sign in to his adult work site with his user name..reset his password. If he has booked services when signed in it could be on there, Before you do that though, decide what you would ro it you find something, if it’s nothing then save yourself the heartache and don’t look x

This thread is 5 years old.
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