I am going through a difficult parent bereavement at the moment. The bereavement has left me very alone, as my other parent died when I was a child and also my siblings have passed away. I have had a lot of untimely grief in my life and feel very broken by this recent one, which has been my final (original) family member.
My husband was supportive in the days immediately surrounding this most recent death but has since taken a hard line. If he sees me crying he pretends not to have seen, and will even start asking me about household matters and watch me answer through tears but never ask how I am. He has not put his arm around me and shown acknowledgement of it beyond those initial days. He has now switched to being annoyed if it is even mentioned. I am finding it hard to grieve in these circumstances. We have little kids and so I am very tired.
Moreover he has doubled down on something he has always done which is to totally deny my grief for my other family members. He says he 'doesn't want to hear about it' and 'why should he care'. I hardly ever mention it, to the extend that I don't think he even remembers the names of my close family who have died, and we've never had a conversation about how I feel, but he is angered if he even sees me upset. He fights against me, telling me to shut up and it shouldn't affect him, and has no place in our family now, rather than ever showing any empathy.
I am so depleted and ashamed, on top of being grieving and so exhausted and lonely I haven't managed to talk to my friends about it, which is I suppose why I'm asking you. We've been married 10 years, and he's always been quite insensitive. I'm really lost and sad, and could use some advice.