Bit of background I am separated from my husband 3 years now.,it wasn’t my decision, I did not want him to leave, he refused to go to marriage counseling, did not really want to tell me why, just that he did not love me, wasn’t attracted to me anymore. He left after 25 years together and 3 kids. . I had hope that he will realize how much I love him and would come back
So I was so hurt when 7 months after our break up, he informed me that he has just met someone else, we proceed with the separation agreement. When I got the paperwork, I discover that he was with her from the beginning of our breakup (from his bank statement, long distance relationship so easy to figure out when he was seeing her from the statement)so he certainly knew her when we were still together. Anyway, he was putting a lot of pressure on me, threatening to take the kids away from me , and I snapped I couldn’t take it anymore and try to kill myself after he told me that he would have an estate agent look at the house. Ended up in a mental facility for a few days, don’t have my family closed to me, live in another country but I am very closed to my Mil and sil. After that, ex husband was putting less pressure but the girlfriend was putting everything online and it was so hurtful to read about them but couldn’t stop reading. I was particularly upset when she complaint online that she had to share the bed with my daughter as she had a nightmare, she was 2 at the time, I asked my ex about it and he denied it, he told me who do you believe me or a 2 years old, I did not tell him it was the girlfriend who spill the beans. I told him to put himself I’m position, would it be happy if I had a partner that our daughter share a bed with us. He wasn’t happy and got called a few names. They broke up after 2 years, they had a volatile relationship. He has been seeing a few different girls since. How I know about it is because he sent by mistake his dating calendar, every time I told him it was a hurtful thing to do but he still continue.. he tried to delete the message but I always get notification and the deletion only appears once I open the message so I can see the content. The kids have adjusted well, they spent 85 % of their time with me, but it is hard when their father undermines me all the time, if I don’t agree about buying them something, he will always buy. If I grounded them and not allow them to play videos game and told their dad to do same, he allows them to play in his place but When he grounded them and he told me that I had to respect it and follow it.
I feel so low and most of the time wonder why I bother. I barely cope, i am crying everyday since our breakup, I am struggling at home and at work to cope with the workload and wish that the cop hasn’t found me when I tried to kill myself as despite everyone told me he will get easier but it is not getting easier, it is getting worse with the kids growing up. I went to counseling but did not find it any good.