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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What's going on with this?

7 replies

TheInde · 28/02/2021 16:54

I am not sure if this is a relationship issue or if I would be better posting in AIBU? In a nutshell, lockdown and the increased walking time spent together has made me notice how much DH will talk to random strangers. While that's nice, I'm made to feel like the bloody invisible woman when these interactions happen. I don't know what he does - whether he has lingering eye contact maybe?!
I actually tried swivelling round the other day to try to get the perspective of the woman he was chatting to, but he misdirected me by pointing out her dog! It's very funny but it's driving me mad now. He's nice but it's not like he's George Clooney?!
Anyone familiar with this?

OP posts:
Eckhart · 28/02/2021 17:29

Do you want him to introduce you to the strangers?

TheInde · 28/02/2021 17:42

How can he? He doesn't know who they are?!
It goes a bit like this. We see someone walking towards us with a dog. I smile, I'm presuming he's smiling at them too, we both say hi to the other person, maybe stop with the dog, he'll usually say something first about our dog, a short interaction will occur, but the eye contact from the other person is 90 percent on him, even when I speak, I'll receive a glance and then the conversation is between him and the other random person! He's suddenly Mr Charisma.
There was one woman last week who we've spoken to a couple of times with her dog who seemed to resolutely not want to engage with him, and looked at me, even when he spoke though, so things are looking up.

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 28/02/2021 17:48

Is it always women he stops and chats to? And is he super attractive?

Obviously it's rubbish to make you feel like a third wheel if he's sort of ignoring / cold shouldering you rather than doing it on purpose.

But he may be unaware?

Spillanelle · 28/02/2021 17:48

That’s so funny, is he very attractive? Maybe it’s just because he starts the interaction.

TheInde · 28/02/2021 17:58

He's attractive and fit for his age. I am sure many women would find him attractive. Maybe he just takes them by surprise by actually speaking to them as I don't think many men do this? (Well, it never happens to me!).
I did an experiment the other day and actively started a conversation about crop yields with a farmer as we were out walking. Farmer's focus was 100% on me, even when DH tried to interrupt so yeah it might be whoever starts the interaction claims the attention. I'm going to spend the next week getting in there first to see what happens. Grin

OP posts:
Eckhart · 28/02/2021 18:01

How can he? He doesn't know who they are

Yes, that was my point. Surely he's just chatting because we don't all get to see people very much at the moment? Do they ignore you when you speak, during these interactions?

What did he say when you spoke to him about how you feel?

Offside · 28/02/2021 18:02

Honestly, if my DH did this, I would HATE it, but I’m not very sociable when it comes to strangers 🙈 has he always been like this or is it just COVID times? I’m just wondering if he’s trying to mix his interactions up a bit, especially if he’s used to engaging with lots of different people ie for work.

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