Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationship with ExP

1 reply

JumpingFr · 28/02/2021 08:43

Hoping for some thoughts and perspective please!

My life is in a pretty bad place at the moment, with medical issues, mental health issues, to balance with work and lockdown and being a single parent to two young dc.

ExP and I split up several years ago, when dc were babies. ExP made no effort to keep the relationship, he was very uncaring tbh and there was no choice to me but to leave and live alone with dc and work all hours to support myself and them.

Since we split, ex partner has been more supportive, we have done some family events together like Christmas day, birthdays, holidays. We live close to each other and neither have any other family, so I have definitely leaned on him for support, including with my mental health which is quite fragile. He had said he didn't want a relationship and was happy being a bachelor, so we had a good equilibrium.

Recently his behaviour towards me changed, became more cold. This week he announced he has a girlfriend and she's going to be helping him with our dc, so I'm no longer going to included in any family times with him (popping round, the birthday meals, holidays etc). His gf is 15 years younger than him and pretty, he seems to be punching above his weight. She seems to have partially moved into his (big) house already and has been doing activities with my kids etc

I havent begged him or don't anything I shouldn't.

But I'm very upset and thrown by all this, the main reasons being - the speed of their relationship and how quickly they have started integrating kids, with barely any discussion or consultation with me, the fact he and I had (I thought) got a good relationship and were supportive of each other, the fact exP would do all this when he knows my health has had bad news (potentially life threatening) and he knows my mental health is very fragile in recent months. I feel very very alone.

OP posts:
DemandTheBest · 28/02/2021 09:28

So sorry you are feeling upset by this, it's understandable.

In real terms though, he has no obligation to consult with you, it would be nice, but it's not a must. There is no ownership.

If it were you starting a new life, wouldn’t you want to be given the same freedom?

I would suggest trying to find other means of support, whether that is friends, hobbies, or most importantly, therapy if you are not already having it.

I really feel for you and wish you luck. You will get through this with time.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread