Snoring

[DinosaurDiana]

So my husband has snored for many, many years. He drinks and is overweight, but he snored when he wasn’t overweight.
More recently he has had nightmares where he hits and kicks out, and shouts out. Now it’s not very often, maybe once or twice a month.
For the last couple of weeks he has been in the spare room, but I know at some point he will want to get back in our bed.
I’ve had years of being woken multiple times a night, often lying there awake and seething. I’ve really enjoyed having a full nights sleep recently.
What do you all think, I don’t want to go back to sharing but DD will be back from Uni permanently soon.
Living in separate houses seems extreme, but I don’t see why I should put up with it anymore.

Why is he not going for any investigations for his snoring? Why are men so bloody useless at self care? It makes me furious.
i do all of the above and went for sleep studies where it was found I had sleep apnoea and was at very high risk of having a heart attack.
I now have a cpap machine and sleep soundly, don't feel exhausted all the time and do not snore.
If he doesn't get this sorted out he will die prematurely and is at much higher risk of diabetes and heart trouble.

I am 59 and snore. Right from the start of our relationship my partner made it clear that she could not tolerate it so we have separate beds other than on holiday (when I use a mouth guard). It is far from ideal but I do accept it is too much to live with.

He says that I snore, but he only said that when I complained about him, so it obviously doesn’t bother him if I actually do.
He has never woke me and said that I’m snoring, I don’t wake up with a sore throat.
The difference with him is that he can sleep through anything, and easily go back to sleep if woken. In the past I’ve got up at 5 or 6 am because I’m fed up with it.
I really don’t want to spend the rest of my life sharing a bed or a room with him. Even if we go away on holiday.
I work, he doesn’t. Sleep is so important.

Fuck that. Leave him in the spare room.

My DH is exactly the same, I sleep with earplugs every night and we've upgraded to one of those foam hybrid mattresses. We went with a super king and due to the sheer size and 0 springs it means he can bounce and thrash about and my side doesn't move! Also found that if I go to sleep before him i'm less likely to wake to his snoring.

I am in the same situation. DS back from uni and could cry with exhaustion- we normally sleep apart during the week when I’m working just so that I can function. Haven’t had a night apart for a few weeks now as no spare bed. He has tried to speak to the GP about it recently but I get the feeling they are only dealing with emergencies and even then it’s via phone.

He was asked to fill out a sleep survey which apparently (according to the GP receptionist!) showed his sleep was abnormal. He’s having bloods and an ECG but that’s not until next month.

I feel like I’m condemned to a torture chamber every night. Just wanted to reply so you know you’re not alone!

Same here.. it's shit
Dh has been to the gp and the questionnaire didn't flag up anything
Goodie
Its so bloody loud I could smother him

@Shopper21544

I am 59 and snore. Right from the start of our relationship my partner made it clear that she could not tolerate it so we have separate beds other than on holiday (when I use a mouth guard). It is far from ideal but I do accept it is too much to live with.

Yes we are the same. DW snores, runs in her family. It has got worse over the years, she has other medical conditions, t2 diabetes etc, and getting treatment for the snoring is not a priority. We have had separate rooms for years, though we always share on holiday and we go to the others bed regularly for cuddles, sex etc. Works very well for us but we are lucky that our house is big enough and the elder DC has left home.

Don't know why you out up with years of it tbh. Plenty of couples sleep separately.

Sit him down and say 'I'm so much happier now that I get a full nights sleep so I want to continue the arrangement of us sleeping separately. You know I love you. I just love you more when I'm not an exhausted zombie'.

My husband stopped snoring when he retired. He lost a little weight but I think the biggest reason was that he was no longer exhausted. It's unbelievable how much difference it makes to me. I wanted to murder him before.

I should have insisted on separate rooms.
One of my adult DC and their partner have separate rooms in their house. They think it's great!

Get a CPAP machine. If he's like this, his breathing stops and he could actually suffocate himself. My DH was like this for years and I hardly slept at all. It changed our lives and could have saved his.

GP should refer you to a sleep clinic and don't forget, if he's asleep he won't be aware. I got an app called Snore Lab and recorded him for a couple of nights. He got the message. The audiologist could not believe I'd put up for so long. The CPAP works from day 1, so insist you get a referral.

DH is still in the spare room. Separate rooms is bliss !

I snored for years and was finally referred to the sleep clinic which didn't find a problem. The various so called "magic" mouth guards didn't work. Finally I found the "Squip NasaKleen Squeezie with Nasal Irrigation System/Pack of 50 Saline Sachets" which works. Absolute relief. After the saline sachets were used up I use salt and bicarbonate of soda. Lloyds chemists do their own version.