Am I a fool for letting fil drive with DD in the car?

[GogoTheSmall]

My FIL is 75 and his driving skills aren't what they were. They used to be very good as he was a policeman, but the years have taken their toll.

The last time I got in a car with him I was 26 weeks pregnant and we narrowly avoided an accident that might have killed us both and my unborn DD!

Basically he didn't see a huge metal girder across our lane of the dual carriageway and thanks to me screaming in terror we just avoided it in time!

It gave me a severe shock and that day DH and I vowed we wouldn't let him take DD in the car, EVER.

DD is 8 months old and so far we have managed to keep this promise to ourselves.

However, he has had his cataracts done since (!) so his road awareness has probably improved somewhat.

We have a big problem this morning - my cat is really sick and I need to get him to the vet. DH is at work with the car, there are no suitable buses and the taxi firms aren't answering their phones!

So I have just rung FIL and he said he'll be glad to take us.

WHAT HAVE I DONE??!!!

I'm going to have to watch the road like a hawk!

Even if it all goes ok, is this a slippery slope? I'll never be able to refuse him now, will I? So far we've managed by pretending the car seat is really difficult to get out of the car!!!

Anyone else been in this situation?

could he take the cat, leaving you and dd at home?

Can you actually drive?

If so make up a reason why you'd like to drive ( eg. want to see what his cars like? Haven't had chance to drive for ages? )

Oh dear. I can see why you're so worried. I think I would be too. It's still ultimately your choice though. Be tactful yes, but you cannot accept rides with him if you are this unhappy just to be polite.

I would definately push the aspect that the car seat is difficult to change round. (Well, that's often true. Ours were awful things to remove)

I am sure there is a case for re-testing drivers throughout our lives (perhaps every 10 years). Some people really shouldn't be driving. I know how much a car can mean but even so...

You could go in a taxi, no? Not that taxi drivers are all that brilliant, either .

I would probably go if it were me, but I could understand if you didn't.

I do drive but I haven't driven his car before - it's notoriously awkward and has a habit of stalling for no discernable reason. DH has been driven to despair while borrowing it!

I'm thinking of leaving him at home with dd and taking the car, but she's going through terrible separation anxiety (gps can't even hold her) and i know she'll yell the whole time!

also she's bf and won't take a bottle, so if his car does bugger up she'll go bloody hungry... she is BLW and not eating much yet... I do have AA cover though...

What to do, what to do? He'll be here in 15mins...

By the way DH was useless - rung him at work and he said "do what you think is best" which is typical!

I could keep trying taxi numbers i guess

I would stick to the taxi idea. Can you do a ring-back thing for your most local one? Then when their line stops being engaged it will ring you and all you need do is pick up your phone and it will automatically dial them.

Right - I will keep trying taxis as first option.

Second option is tissy's suggestion that I get him to take the cat. The only excuse I can think of is "DD is due her morning nap and I don't want to mess up her routine" which is a bit weak but will have to do I guess!

get FIL to take the cat.

just tell him dd is due a feed and you're not sure how long vet will take and you're not comfortable bf in a place full of sick animals and then of course dd might catch fleas plus she needs a nap and ultimately you just can't be dealing with sick cat and dd so please FIL take the cat!

you'll think of something and am sure FIL will be pleased to assist (prob still feels bad about the near miss accident when you were pg).

good luck, hope it works out okay.