What do I do?

[LizzieRayneS]

I am currently in the middle of divorcing my husband. I had children before we met and we had more together.
Things have broken down irretrievably, he is a nightmare, doesn’t get involved in family life, has no physical relationship with me, never says anything nice. I said it was over and filed for divorce and he agreed.
Fast forward to receiving paperwork he is uncontrollable - he threatens me daily with the ‘I’ll make sure you loose the kids’ card, threatened & tried to glass MY daughter last night, plays on his Xbox with the volume on full stopping all the children from sleeping and when my 1yr old suffers night terrors through the night he comes in screaming & shouting and threatening me to shut him up.
I need that signature or I have to wait 5yrs but he won’t leave unless I cough up £5k. I’ve lost all three of my businesses due to Covid and I’m literally living on thin air so the kids don’t go without. I can’t claim any assistance as I fall through the net with everything ;this has been checked with CAB twice) what the hell do I do?

Can you get a bank loan? Borrow from family?

That sounds horrendous. I hope more clued up posters will reply but would you be able to take the kids and leave the house and stay somewhere else? Or get him arrested for the acts of violence and take out a restraining order of some sort?

Frankly, I'd call the police.

Then get legal advice to get him out

He's threatening you and your children. You need to call the police and get him out.

If he's behaving threateningly, phone the police, fgs, especially your children - and they'll remove him.

Then look to get an occupation order and non-molestation order to keep him out.

Police and restraining order. Get him removed ASAP. Can't you use DV as a reason to get the divorce pushed through even if he disagrees?

Yes definitely call the police and tell them he's been threatening you and your family. They can apply for a dvpn at court to keep him out of the property for 28 days max whilst you get a proper order for him not to be allowed to return.

If you look at the website for the national domestic violence Centre you can do a self referral to them if you have had a threatening incident within 48 hours. They have their own legal team who can get the proper orders on your behalf.

My children are now out of the house that was sorted today. I can’t leave as there’s no where I can take my dogs and it’s my house, in my maiden name. Unfortunately I borrow that kind of money as I have no physical way to pay it back
I have looked at a website mentioned above in the hope I can get something sorted quickly

tried to glass MY daughter last night

What did the police say?

If the house is only in your name ring the police and get him out of the house. Does he go out to work?

Don't give him any money call police and social services and get him removed now.

Ffs call the police. If this is real, why have you not?

Where are your children ?

threatened & tried to glass MY daughter last night,

As PP's said- contact the police. They'll get him out of the house so your DD can come back. Otherwise she can't, can she? Regardless of the situation with DD, contacting the police would also get him out for you.

Worth a go, anyway.

If the house is in your name call the police they will remove him. I have had to do it to my ex as he refused to leave and was awful he would inject drugs infront of me and my son whilst laughing in my Face. He used to shout slam doors to keep me and my son awake then whe. We woke up he would sleep and we weren’t allowed to make a sound. I called the non emergency number they came checked the house was in my name . They the. Took him and his stuff and left him next to a housing office as he had nowhere to go. It’s really hard and I feel so bad for you it’s so difficult but you have to do this. You can’t go on it’s not fair on you I know you said your children are out of the house but you shouldn’t live like this either. Please call the police.

Indeed, especially as it's your house, get the police to remove, get a restraining order and change the locks. Is there a reason why that wouldn't be a possibility?

The 1 year old is his ? If that’s the case you have to start noting how he’s treating the 1 year old. He doesn’t sound fit to be a parent to be honest.