Afternoon wedding with no entertainment - when should it wrap up?

[Ladyofmainlyleisure]

I’m getting married in the summer.
Will have approx 40 guests, inc some kids.

Ceremony is at 2, then ‘do’ is in a location a few miles away.

We have a private dining room and small balcony/patio area to use and access to a bar in a separate room.

Due to the small space and the fact another wedding may be happening in the main area, we can’t have any entertainment.

If we offer nibbles at 3.30 and then the meal at around 5pm, what time should we say the evening finishes?
I’m thinking around 9pm latest.

DP says people can stay and socialise until 11, but I feel this is far to long, given people will have been together since around 1.30pm at the church and there will be no band/music. I don’t want people to feel they have to stay and sit around feeling bored. Also, I think that if they are expecting to stay late, they will also be expecting a dance floor , more food later on etc

Please let me know your thoughts.

I was going to say 8pm, if people want to stay later to chat they can.

Best wedding I went to finished about that time and it was such a relief to be able to go home at a reasonable time.

You can't have any background music at all? Not even through a speaker?

Definitely 9 at the latest.

Dinner at 5 will be done by 6.30/7 then? So a couple of drinks after dinner and away by 8.30/9.

@Aquamarine1029 maybe playing in the background, but not for dancing....... my dad will be glad - he’s very deaf!

Some people will naturally stay and socialise until 11 if the drinks and conversation are flowing, others will naturally drift off some time after the meal, especially those with children.

Having the ceremony that early means I think it's a good idea to wrap it up a bit earlier. We went to a wedding once that had the ceremony at 12 and then nothing for the guests other than Pimm's on the lawn until the food at 5.30pm. They did have a disco after the meal but everyone naturally started to drift away to their room by about 10pm.
We got married at 3pm, food at 5, reception from 7.30 (with entertainment and disco), and most guests stayed until midnight, with a few hardcore ones staying until 1am.

What's the venue's policy on people staying on to drink and chat?

As long as the guests can stay to drink in the bar , 8 or 9 is fine for official ending and might really suit some people .

Serve coffee and wedding cake at 8pm. Then you two leave 8.30 -9pm and the rest will follow.

Is there anything else for guests to do or will they be stuck in the dining room/bar area? Is the patio covered and available to use if it's raining?

I think Nanny0gg's suggestion is a good one.

In the bar/room if it’s raining. Cake at 8 signalling end of the night s a good idea

Our small wedding went like this:
Church ceremony at 3pm.
Photos/socialising etc at the reception venue.
Speeches then dinner at about 6pm.
We had use of the dining room and another room with sofas, chairs, tables and a bar also access to outside patio area and gardens.
Everyone used these areas to socialise and chat while drinking.
No evening guest list, just everyone from the ceremony invites.
No dancing/band/DJ because it's just not us. Music playing in the background all the time though.
10pm bacon butties, slices of chocolate wedding cake and tea/coffee for anyone who wanted it brought out.
All finished by 12.30/1am when guests went home. We stayed at the hotel.

Some had reservations about the lack of music/dancing beforehand but they were the ones who told us they'd had the best time and got a chance to talk to folks they hardly ever got see and really enjoyed that without battling to hear anything through loud music.

The whole thing went exactly as we had wanted it to.
The hotel wedding co-ordinator described it as a large dinner party when we were discussing our preferences which I guess it was.

Honestly, nobody was at all bored, they all seemed to love being able to catch up and have a really good natter and drink together.

I don’t think you need to say a time that it has to finish (unless you are keen to get out by a certain time), but I like the idea of having a signal (cake cutting) for those who do want to leave early/at a normal time. The last wedding I went to dragged on... we were stuck in our chairs for hours!