Mean partner

[catherineofarrogance80]

We have been together 13 months long distance. I haven't seen him since before Christmas. Christmas Day he says oh of course I will get you a present. I receive nothing. Valentine's Day and our one year anniversary come and go and he says oh I'd love to be able to spoil you today.
So fast forward to now we are supposed to be seeing each other Thursday. I say something about well bet you feel delighted having missed three major occasions and not having to get me a gift. He does an awkward laugh. I say well it's not too late to make up for it . I then get a stern 'well I must point out no shops are open now' to which I reply internet shopping? And he said oh I didn't think of that.
He thinks I'm worthless doesn't he? Is there any future here at all?

What do you get out of this relationship now?. How is it this man was allowed into your life at all?.

Yes to him thinking that you are worthless and that there is no future in this so called relationship.

End it by text telling him this is no longer working for you. Do not be further drawn back in by promises to change.

We’re you getting gifts for him?

I can't decide until I know if you got him gifts.

Yeah I have got him gifts
Nothing major but just little tokens to mark occasions

It's long distance so is anything ever likely to change? If he's away when another occasion comes up then you probably know if he can't be bothered to post you a gift or when you see him next its never likely going to be any different.

The first year is when people are normally on their best bahaviour in a relationship, showing their best side and typically wanting to do more romantic gestures.

If he's like this now and these things are important to you, I can't see it getting any better in the future.

He's showing you what he's like. If that's not what you need in a partner, I'd have words about your expectations and if you think he's just not the thoughtful type or doesn't value you, now's the time to end it.

Oh, and I imagine it's not about the presents/money as such but taking the time out to surprise you and make you happy. I'd feel disappointed too.

I don’t think he’s mean I just think he’s thoughtless. You are clearly incompatible OP. Gift giving is clearly on of your love languages and not one of his

Not mean, just thinks differently
Some people think giving gifts just for the sake of giving is a waste of money

So he is totally thoughtless at best (mean at worst) and he never sees you
..what's the point of having him as a bf?

He sounds lazy and thoughtless. Or at the very least, totally lacking in imagination.

His idea of treating you could be something he can share in, meal, gig tickets etc, but it doesn't bode well for the future. He's hardly man of the year is he?

@Mintjulia

He sounds lazy and thoughtless. Or at the very least, totally lacking in imagination.

His idea of treating you could be something he can share in, meal, gig tickets etc, but it doesn't bode well for the future. He's hardly man of the year is he?

Sorry but he's hardly man of the year did make me chuckle No you are right time for a chat about our 'future'

If he's that stupid he hasn't thought of the Internet like the rest of us, he should be your Ex.

What a lame excuse.

I reckon when he shows up on Thursday, he'll be up for a shag?

It seems like you're the only one in this relationship. He doesn't seem to think he is, until it benefits him.

Ditch the nonrelationship and find someone closer you can actually see more than once or twice a year.

The man is clearly not bothered.
Trust me, different love languages or not, this is the beginning of a relationship and if he wanted to please you (especially after you made it clear you would appreciate the presents), he would have been online looking for something nice (even small) like a madman.
Don't waste your time.

It's not just the lack of gifts that would bother me

He's what my dad would call a "Gonna"

He says he's "gonna do something" but just doesn't do it.

He overpromises & underdelivers

You know what you need to do - and the fact it's long distance should make it even easier.

No, no chat about your future, just a clear ‘goodbye’. Please don’t thing he will change.

What gutful says about him being a "gonna" is so right.

He says "I'll get you something" and you probably say "ah thanks", and that's that. False promises.

Ditch.

Has this guy never heard of Amazon!

@gutful

It's not just the lack of gifts that would bother me

He's what my dad would call a "Gonna"

He says he's "gonna do something" but just doesn't do it.

He overpromises & underdelivers

You know what you need to do - and the fact it's long distance should make it even easier.

This. And also the fact it was mentioned so he knew full well that you'd have loved something - even something little - not expensive but thoughtful. Despite knowing you'd like that and saying he'd do that he didn't do it. Couldn't be arsed to do something that would make you smile. Is that really someone you can be arsed having a relationship with?

@gutful

It's not just the lack of gifts that would bother me

He's what my dad would call a "Gonna"

He says he's "gonna do something" but just doesn't do it.

He overpromises & underdelivers

You know what you need to do - and the fact it's long distance should make it even easier.

Omg yes he so is!!!