Depression/sex

[mum241986]

So my dh got diagnosed with depression in December and we've not had sex since then....he said he just doesn't feel up to it. So Iv left him alone and not initiated sex. He said in my Valentine's card that tonight is the night but Mother Nature decided to show her ugly face😭 so we obviously didn't do anything....it's been 2 weeks since Valentine's Day and still nothing. Do I ask about sex or do I just wait until he mentions it again🤔 or shall I try and initiate it! I'm so confused Iv never been in this situation before and always had a good sex life.

Why don’t you just talk to him about it? Ask if he fancies finishing what you almost started on V day at some point? Put the feelers out there

Talk to him. Communication is key.

Yeah maybe I should talk to him....we normally talk about our problems through text as he finds it hard to open up to me face to face. I'm just scared of being let down and he normally shots at me for moaning about it. Calls me sex pest🤷🏼‍♀️

Ohh, if its at that stage of shouting at you that really doesn't sound good and I don't think approaching him the same way again is going to help.

I do feel for him as its horrible to feel obligated to provide sex when it's the last thing you want. But equally I feel for you as it's also horrible to want to be physically close to the person you love and have them reject you.

Can you think of ways that would be low stress for him that allow you to maintain a physically close relationship - like snuggling in bed or on the sofa with a film, but without sex being on the table at all. That way he doesn't feel pressured but you still keep that physical bond between you. And you just commit to sorting yourself out sexually for the next few months at least.

Before he become depressed, was your sex life active and good for both of you?

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation

Ohh, if its at that stage of shouting at you that really doesn't sound good and I don't think approaching him the same way again is going to help.

I do feel for him as its horrible to feel obligated to provide sex when it's the last thing you want. But equally I feel for you as it's also horrible to want to be physically close to the person you love and have them reject you.

Can you think of ways that would be low stress for him that allow you to maintain a physically close relationship - like snuggling in bed or on the sofa with a film, but without sex being on the table at all. That way he doesn't feel pressured but you still keep that physical bond between you. And you just commit to sorting yourself out sexually for the next few months at least.

Before he become depressed, was your sex life active and good for both of you?

Yes I agree abit what your saying,maybe your right. I just feel pushed away sometimes and all I want is a cuddle. But I think I will leave it a few months...I just don't want this to draw a wedge between us. We had a great sex life before but I my libido is higher then his. I think lockdown hasn't helped things,hopefully things will get back to normal soon