Age gaps in relationships.

[Ilovegreentomatoes]

Just interested in opinions. I'm 41 looking to date a 33 yr old man.Do you think that's to much of an age gap? My friends seem to think it is so interested in others opinions.

My bf is 33 and I’m 40, and I don’t notice the age difference at all. So it’s a hearty no from me.

@ThatchersCold that's good to know.I think the same. But friends all have negative opinions on it.

It’s very similar to my age gap, I’m 39, BF is 30. I must admit I was a bit uncomfortable about it at first but I don’t even give it a thought any more really, 3 years later.
Best relationship I’ve ever been in by a mile. If you like him, just do it! Yours and his opinions are the only ones that matter.

I think it depends on where you both are and what you want out of life/a relationship (ie could having kids be an issue?)

The age in itself i don't think is an issue at all.

Personally I wouldn't date a guy that much younger than me, though I'm 31 and DH is 40.

Stuff your friends! Have they even met him? Don’t over think it.

I’m 38 and my BF 31. The issue of kids I feel will be the deciding factor in this relationship. I must admit I have asked him “you do know my age right” and he isn’t bothered. I think I am a little. He looks older, lost hair etc so we look similar. I just feel he may want someone younger as time moves on. Sorry whole load of my insecurities there!

I don't think this is an age gap to be concerned about.

In practice I don’t think that age gap is anything to worry about really, but I also think it depends on personalities.

I’m 33 and DP is 40 this year. We met when I was 27 and it didn’t seem like a big gap then as DP was very sparky and energetic but this last year I’ve noticed it. Just little things like not being able to cope with newer technology and being really stuck in his ways but he comes from a long line of grumpy old men so it could just be him...

OP - no one can tell really.
But if you are both having fun - why not.
Big issue as everybody said is kids and at that age he may not fully know yet how he’ll feel about not having any. (Unless he already had them).

If you were a man you wouldn’t be asking this- 40 year old man with a 33 year old woman is never questioned! And I speak as somebody who dated a 58 year old when I was 24!
Enjoy it! As long as you have similar interests etc it’s fine, enjoy!

When I met my partner I was 26, she was 35. We have been together for 28 years. Age is in the head. Ignore what your "friends" are saying and do what feels right for you.

If you were a man you wouldn’t be asking this- 40 year old man with a 33 year old woman is never questioned!

That's usually true, but as for the op and this man, if he wants to have children then the age gap could be extremely significant.

Depends where he is at in terms of lifestage.
I'd say it's fine but thats prob because I am 7 years older than DH
We never notice except when we reminisce about kids tv shows...

It’s true if he wants children then it does need to be considered- but otherwise it should be fine. Even then, it can still happen! A friend’s sister was divorced and childless at 40 but at 41 met a new DP and was pregnant within 6 months! It does happen

Hardly an age gap at all. And who cares even if there was? Totally ok if you're happy together.

It’s fine.

I guess if you want kids that will need to be a speedy discussion but that’s all.

I'm 44 and my partner is 35, we've been together 4.5 years. The gap bothered me a bit at first, but it's never worried him. I was clear when we met that I didn't want any more children and he was happy with this as he didn't want any. We get on brilliantly, we're just buying a house together and are very happy.

My parents have been married 45 years...mum is 12 years older than dad

I'm 41 and my dh is 48. I was 25 and he was 32 when we met. Never had any issues, appreciate that's not a huge gap though.

My mum was 41 when she met her partner. He was 25. They are still together 23 years later

Age is irrelevant, what's more important is where they are in life, what they want in life, lifestyle etc
My first dh was my age, as we hit our mid 20s he just didn't change, he was immature, lacked any ambition and ended up like an extra child for me to take care of!

I met my now dh when he was 24 and I was 35, he was full of life, ambitious and a million times more 'grown up' than my ex who was 11 years his senior!

The only issue is obviously children, I had 2 young children and didn't want anymore, I was very honest about this and dh was happy with this and as ex dh moved away and was largely absent, dh has very much been their other parent for the last decade.

We had a lot of stick when we first got together but ignored it, knowing full well if it had been dh who was older nobody would have had a problem with it!
I'm 50 now and haven't really aged much, dh is late 30s and hitting that patch where men generally seem to suddenly age and we find nobody really notices the age difference anymore!