We're in the same situation. I get stuck in patterns where I could go months and not care. DH would happily have sex daily most of the time. It's really difficult because as others have said the low sex drive partner kind of is in charge. No one wants to have sex when they don't want to, and any loving partner won't want someone to have sex with them when they don't want to. But I find as the one with the lower sex drive there's constant pressure that comes from me, not DH. I feel relief if we did it yesterday because I feel I can go to bed guilt free tonight. From then on its an ever increasing ticking clock and awareness of how long it's been.
What has helped is we are very honest and open. I have been upfront and DH doesn't pressure me. When it's an elephant in the room it's awful. So communication is a big one. We know that DH needs sex not only for the physical side but because the intimacy helps him feel connected to me. It helps him relax. Whereas I feel connected more in other ways, I don't get that as much from sex. And when I'm stressed it's not something relaxing, it's like another job - which is weird because it's great when we do it, it's not a job.
I do think sex is important and while the low sex drive partner shouldn't be pressured, it's reasonable for them to try and explore where it comes from and see if things can be made better. Depends how much it distresses you though. It really bothers me having a low sex drive.
So in that case what helped to start is knowledge of some concepts - brake pedals and gas pedals being one you can Google. The idea is when sex drive is low we pile on the gas pedal - lingerie, low light, toys, basically whatever your thing is. But you'll go nowhere if your foot is on the brake and everyone has different brake pedals. Stress, a difficult work meeting scheduled the next day, the kids possibly waking up etc. Identifying your brake pedals helps.
The next thing is practicing mindfulness with sex. I tend to "spectator" and it doesn't help. So being open to the present moment and sensations helps. This comes naturally to DH and I think it why he enjoys sex so much.
Finally a gamechanger was understanding Rosemary Basson's model of the sexual response cycle. There is a great article here sexologyinternational.com/taking-a-closer-look-at-bassons-model-of-the-sexual-response-cycle/
It's more complex than this but the big revelation for me was this idea of responsive sexual desire. From the article:
"Responsive sexual desire is equally as powerful. Responsive sexual desire occurs when one is willing to engage in sex although they are not initially feeling desire or sexually aroused. With sufficient sexual stimuli and appropriate context one can move from a place of neutrality to feeling aroused and desirous."
I find I can feel neutral about sex, then after some time kissing and being close can be very much desiring it. I thought I was weird but actually it's a thing. It's not the same as not wanting it and doing it anyway, it's just being open to the times I feel neutral and giving it a shot. We have agreed if it turns out I don't want to we just stop. So far it's never turned out that I don't want to. But because I went round rarely feeling spontaneous sexual desire I thought I just had none.
Anyway bit of an essay sorry but these things have helped us.