I feel anxiety a lot over my relationship. I have had this to an extent in previous relationships, but I feel like lockdown has really added to the pressure. It's like my world has got much smaller, so my boyfriend has become a bigger part.
We are both in our 40s. He is busy (as am I!) so I try to keep communication natural, friendly etc. However I find that if he doesn't reply to a good night message a few nights in a week, or stops bothering with 'loving' messages, or seems unbothered about seeing me (we see each other weekends only) then I start worrying, get anxious, ask if he still wants the relationship
. He then reassures me, seems totally oblivious that there's any issue, tells me I'm overthinking. He will then be very conscious and sensitive to show 'love' but inevitably we seem to end up going in cycles.
He rarely tells me he loves me, it doesn't seem to be his way, he saves it for valentines or birthdays I think! He is very considerate in bed, loving in a physical way, but he doesn't express it much with words. If I ask him to spend more time with me, he tends to do it, but he doesn't tend to suggest it himself. Our weekend plans are sometimes thwarted by his kids activities/work commitments due to homeschooling etc. Fair enough, maybe this will get easier after lockdown. I dont put him under pressure.
I just wondered if anyone has techniques that helped them feel more secure? I try to go for walks with friends, hobbies, work, focus on my kids. I just feel quite emotionally exposed.