Petty or not?

[topflower123]

So feeling a bit annoyed and not sure if its just lockdown getting to me...

OH and I live together - recently he has been doing most of the food shopping and I give him a list. The list I give is specific and I will say if x product is not there, don't get anything as I know stock levels for certain things are variable at the minute.

The problem is, every time he comes back, he will get different things to what I've asked! It seems small, but it's really annoying and I don't know why he can't just follow the list. I'm going to do the shopping from now on as it's so frustrating! When I said this he got annoyed with me so I really don't think he sees how annoying it is

Bit petty I would say, does he have no say at all in your groceries?

Why does it matter so much?

Do you mean that if you've put bananas on the list they come back with apples, or do you mean a particular brand of yoghurt and they come back with a different brand?

I can see how a pp finds it pretty, but I'm with you OP. My partner does this as well, every single time, and its driving me mad. Sometimes it's only a slight change, but the majority of the time its MASSIVE. Such as pepperami sticks instead of yoghurt..."I thought I was helping"....no...you're really not, and even you don't eat them, so what the hell did u get them for. That's only a little example btw

@2typesofjungle

Do you mean that if you've put bananas on the list they come back with apples, or do you mean a particular brand of yoghurt and they come back with a different brand?

yes - specifically yoghurt instead of cheese this time

having read what i wrote back i can see im being petty though

I don't think it is petty at all. You may as well not give him a list if he is going to ignore it. It's been a complete waste of your time preparing one. If my husband or I go to the shop we'll buy what's in the list right down to the brand (if specified) and will check (presumably your oh has heard of a mobile phone) if we need to deviate.

sorry, but this would annoy me as well.

a simple brand sub would be find but a completely different item sub just doesn't make sense. who subs yoguhrt for cheese???

Oh, my friend had a partner do this constantly, it too drove her potty. She ended up doing the shopping herself. Her OH let slip to me one day that he did it on purpose because he hated shopping and knew she would get angry and do it herself. Just check in with him that this isn't the same scenario OP!

That's annoying especially if you're planning something, eg you need cheese cos you're making pizza and he gets all the pizza ingredients but hands you yoghurt instead of cheese!

Is it strategic incompetence, a lack of care or laziness? To some extent it doesn't matter as he gets out of shopping now.

Does he actually just want the yogurts instead of the cheese and thinks he wouldn’t “be allowed” them because you are on a budget or health kick so comes up with this daft story? X

If you live together and it's a joint food shop is he not allowed to pick things he wants?

Is he getting yoghurt instead of cheese when there is cheese available, or only when cheese is out of stock?

Maybe get him to do the meal planning so he can cope without the stuff he doesn't buy?

Maybe it’s stuff he likes as he’s doing the shopping.
As a single person I go with a list of stuff I need, then if I see something else I just get it

Is he doing this to avoid shopping?

Does he pull his weight generall?

I could see one particular brand of cheese being out of stock but, unless it’s a tiny corner shop or a very niche variety of cheese, how would they be out of all options?

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a large supermarket without a good stock of cheeses. Even when everyone was panic buying bog roll and pasta etc!

I suspect he’s trying to get out of the shopping. Or he misread the list somehow.