Got together during lockdown, worried about going back to normal life

[bassetlaw]

I met my boyfriend almost a year ago now, just before the first lockdown. We are both single parents with 4 DC between us and no family nearby so we have been each other's support bubble for most of the year.
I'm aware that I'm very lucky when other people have struggled so much with lock down, but It's been really great tbh. We've got on so well, actually had a lot of fun during lockdown despite not being able to go anywhere for most of the 12 months, supported each other when it's all got a bit much-and all seems to be going well. It's probably been a bit more intense than a normal relationship would have been-every other weekend is spent together (when the kids are with respective other parents) and a few days a week when we work from home etc. Usually two or three nights a week together. We recently met each other's kids and all is well with that so far.

I'm of course looking forward to the end of lockdown in terms of seeing my friends and family again. We've talked about rough plans for the summer and even about a future together at some point. However I've become really anxious about what will happen with this relationship and I can't seem to shake it.
Boyfriend has a job that is very social-in normal times he'd be out for work all the time and he'll obviously be going back to that and is excited for it. (I go out a lot too but nowhere near as much and mostly just locally with friends-he works in the city). I'm already feeling sad that we won't get as much time together and worried that being out of our nice little bubble will change the whole thing. And I'm maybe a bit paranoid (for no discernible reason) that it's just been a lock down thing.
I don't know what I'm asking really except did anyone else get together with someone during this weird old time we've had, and if so, do you think a return to normality will affect the relationship? This lack of confidence is not like me at all and I don't know how to get rid of it!

Sounds as if you're scared it's a "holiday romance" and somehow not realistic. But it does sound very grounded in reality, even if reality is somewhat strange for everyone right now!

If you both want it to work it will, there will be times when you both see your friends but if it's a serious relationship then each other will be a priority, if he wants to socialise every weekend with work then you'll know it's not working.

I know exactly what you mean OP. Slightly different circumstances but I've been with my partner around the same amount of time and ever recently started talking about plans for the rest of the year. None of his plans really involve me although he's said we must go on holiday in vague terms, but had firm plans with others. And the thing that's really set alarm bells off in the last week is the pace he moves at... since the announcement on Monday I've made some quite large life changes, made some quite ambitious plans with friends, arranged a couple of parties within the rules and one for after the rules of group sizes stop. He's still thinking about what he sees in our future. I was in a marriage for a number of years where we all had to go as slow as the slowest one - my husband - and my kids and I wasted years waiting for him to be ready to do something, anything, and I can't go back to a life like that. I do wonder if we will survive.

That's kind of the thing. We've talked about a holiday later in the year and he's really keen for me to meet his wider family and friends etc which is lovely. But at the same time I can't see how I'm going to be happy going back to seeing him twice a week or whatever after such an intense period of being together much more. I can feel myself becoming needy already and that's not me at all.
I know all I can do is wait and see but I think maybe just because I've enjoyed this time so much (I've fallen for him in a big way really,which has never really happened to be before, not even with my ex h), I'm just a bit tail spun by it.
Perhaps the best thing to do is make a lot of plans of my own so I'm not sitting around like a wolly waiting for him to be free-that's what I would have done naturally in the past so I can't fathom why I'm not keen to do that now! I'm annoyed at myself!

I’m in a similar situation but I’m confident that if we still get on after so much time together, it’s a good foundation for the future. The thing I’m struggling with is jealousy of his ex, mainly due to all the things they did together (travelling, going to posh parties, etc) that he and I still haven’t been able to do. I’m having therapy but it’s not easy sometimes.

I’m also in the same boat, although albeit a more recent thing (not in a proper relationship yet) and no kids involved.

Hi OP. I’m in exactly the same boat as you and have exactly the same fears. It’s like our “bubble” is about to burst and whilst it’s lovely to think about getting back to a normal life it’s scary. I don’t have any advice as such but just know there’s others out there!