Dp isn’t enjoying his job, he’s had a role change and he says it’s boring and not what he anticipated. I’ve encouraged him to look for other things and will support him in even taking a new job for a reduction in pay but we can’t afford for him to quit entirely without something to start at straight away.
He has started getting really stressed with little things that go wrong. We had a job done on the house today which I arranged and I was supervising it whilst trying to work from home and my phone was ringing a lot whilst the tradesman was here, whilst I was not present supervising a small thing went wrong and the tradesman has to come back tomorrow to rectify it if it’s not sorted itself overnight. I asked about paying the tradesman as it’s me he’s invoiced and me he will have to keep messaging if we don’t pay, and he was like no way, you’ll never hear from him again, he’ll rip us off and not sort it - it’s like he doesn’t trust anyone and everyone is out to get him. I said well if he messages what do I say and he was like just ignore him we will pay when we are ready etc, I know he thinks I’m a bit of a ‘mug’ who people will see as easy to rip off as I’m youngish looking, small, friendly, quite trusting. He seems to want to ‘protect me from myself’ but I have a masters and professional quals and am quite intelligent! I will admit I play up to this sometimes as I want him to do some life admin like booking cars in for a service or arranging a plumber so I let him do it but if he wasn’t here I could defo do it myself !
He says everything always goes wrong for him, I think it’s just normal life to be fair, it’s like he sees things going wrong as a personal failure and takes it so personally. Things go wrong for everyone but he says his friends don’t have stupid shit happen like this etc . Some examples are:
Internet being up and down for a few days - sorted now
Me needing a new car - I sorted a good deal and insurance etc in my own name, he was stressed by this because he hates me rushing into things but I saw a car I wanted and went for it he has since admitted he likes the car and I did a good job
Damp in kitchen - I did some research and bought some decent cleaner and it’s gone
Zip breaking on his expensive coat - I’ve taken it in to be fixed for him
His car needing work - this is just bad luck and we could afford the repairs but he is putting it off
His mums dryer breaking - stressed saying she has probably done something to it despite it being years old, I suggested a new one from Amazon as they deliver and take old one away within two days, apparently this is a daft idea, Amazon are awful etc (some of my family work for Amazon! People he says he likes and gets on with!) he is looking for a second hand one for her now.
I have told him that he doesn’t need to get annoyed by little things, remember the big things that are great for us and that we both have jobs and cars and a house and food ! That’s the main thing ! He has a mild heart condition which worries me as he gets reviewed every couple of years and has one coming up and I worry the level to which he winds himself up is going to make him ill. He’s only in his early 30s. He is a really chilled and funny guy most of the time. But anything going wrong has started to really irritate him and it upsets me as I hate conflict. I think it’s coming back to him feeling inadequate at work.