Dont know if I can get through this

[Doesanyonelikeme]

I've had to break up with partner of 4 years due to his MH issues. I've tried leaving before but always persuaded to go back
He has got worse,and picks arguments, is paranoid and suspicious, and can be nasty. But he can also be a lovely person too.
He is getting help for the condition but it has not helped our relationship.
He has nobody except for me and is hysterical and threatening to hurt himself which he says will be my fault. I have contacted his MH team but he lies and says he is fine.
I have not slept for days, I feel so guilty, I miss him, but the things he accused me of are dreadful.All of these thoughts are driving me mad.

You need to make it absolutely clear to him that if he threatens suicide you will dial 999 as would any normal, concerned person

I’m not even sure I’d warn him like that, especially after all the bullshit about ‘you’ll need to phone my kids and say you killed me’ - I mean - how did you not actually laugh out loud at him - ‘Err... no, I think you’ll find that the police phone the deceased’s relatives mate’.

A couple of weeks ago I came across someone I thought was about to jump to their death - what did I do? I called the police. Did I warn them I was calling the police? No I did not. I just called the police, and they dealt with it.

I wouldn’t warn him I’ll phone 999, I’d just do it. He’s not your problem.

When I left my husband he threatened suicide all the time and he actually attempted it a few times but he never did enough so he would die.
It was attention seeking behaviour and I fell for the emotional blackmail but then I realised it couldnt continue so every time he told me he wanted to kill himself I told him to ring the Samaritans and then eventually blocked him on everything.

He is still alive and rebuilding his life.

We have kids together so there was a lot of guilt if he was ever successful in his attempts but then I realised if he killed himself that was his decision and his alone and I would not feel guilty.

If this was me I would contact the mother of his children, let her know what is going on and then block him on everything.

Do not get reeled in, he is manipulative and abusive.

I really feel for you.

Agree with everyone else, this is vile manipulation and there is no good outcome to be gained from putting up with it. It won't solve anything as well as destroying your life!

The one thing I would do - if you can contact the childrens' mother, or anyone who would be in a close position to them - I would let them know of his threats, that you believe it's emotional manipulation and will be calling authorities etc, but let them know to intercept any post from him to them and check it.

This is purely so that you can say to yourself that you did everything reasonably in your power to stop any hurtful situations that you could.

Stopping him killing himself ISN'T one of those situations and absolutely ISN'T in your power. All you can and should do is contact the police and give them his details.

I have no details for the children's mum, but have contacted another family member. The threat of suicide is very triggering for me , and he knows this as I have told him the circumstances. Cant go into too much detail as it is quite outing, but basically he has accused me of partially causing it in someone else when we have argued.

@Doesanyonelikeme

I have no details for the children's mum, but have contacted another family member. The threat of suicide is very triggering for me , and he knows this as I have told him the circumstances. Cant go into too much detail as it is quite outing, but basically he has accused me of partially causing it in someone else when we have argued.

He is NOT your problem.

He's weaponised any guilt you feel about somebody else (when I very much doubt you were in any way contributing to somebody else's decision) in order to imprison you in a relationship of fear.

Block. Block. Block.

Stop thinking of him as ill/crazy (even if he is) and start thinking of him as an evil person - who means you harm.

So he wants to hold you hostage in the relationship then? He has no concern about your happiness and the effect it's having on your mental health.

Tell him that remaining in the relationship won't work for you and is making you ill.

When he threatens suicide if you leave, he's basically saying his children aren't worth living for. Bet he hasn't thought of it like that.