He has a girlfriend shocked !

[Shocked202]

Hi

Up at this silly hour as I have just found out the man I have been sleeping with albeit casually for the last two years maybe more has had girlfriend the entire time and since before we met .

I am utterly shocked! I have worked with this man for years we have mutual friends who knew about us and nobody knew he was in a relationship.

He pursued me relentlessly it didn’t start off causal there were dates him offering to take me away etc and that all stopped when I developed feelings and told him. However stupidly I kept on sleeping with him and it’s been going on since 2019.

He told me tonight said this can’t carry on but he is happy to still be friends .. I mean WTAF .. I don’t know who she is or the exact dates as I didn’t want to hear another word from him. He’s blocked everywhere although we work at the same company its a big company and I have no contact with him through my job.

I have known him for nearly 8 years and I am completely and utterly shocked at this. I am fiery at the best of times and have no problem speaking my mind but I just didn’t know what to say as I am genuinely upset.

I have had several sexual health checks over these years whilst sleeping with him anyway and one recently but I am worrying a bit now.

Just cannot belive I have known or thought I knew him for so long and I had no idea about this.. I know we were casual so I expected he was probably seeing others but a girlfriend of years !

Feeling pretty shit and just a bit worthless I guess . As he made out to me he didn’t want a Rship etc etc explains why now.

This happened tome, except I found out before I slept with him. It's a terrible shock, isn't it? I had even gone on holiday abroad with him and a bunch of friends and we all thought he was single. He only blurted it out when I declined an invitation and he got jealous and assumed it was because I was seeing someone else! But he then invited the girlfriend to a party at the mutual friends house, so they were really shocked (and a bit upset too).

It's important to realise that this is something specific to this man. A lot of men flirt with other women when they're not single but to lie to someone youre sleeping with for that long is so cunning and manipulative it indicates he has a personality disorder of some kind. And you probably overlooked the signs he was a bit dodgy because you knew him through your work. I ignored my gut instinct because we were part of a group of friends and I knew his parents!

How did you find out?

Some men are complete bastards. So sorry this arsehole is one of them. I had a friend who found our her boyfriend whom she lived with, had another girlfriend. Another who found out her partner, whom she lived with and had a baby with, had another relationship with another woman whom he had invited as his guest to a wedding! Fuckers!
If you know his girlfriend, or have anyway to contact her, I would absolutely tell her. If he hadn't told you he was in an open relationship he presumable hasn't told her about it either. She absolutely deserves to know.

the lines-boundries- were very blurred in this casual relationship i think.

You said it was casual. You obviously had different ideas of casual.

I had a casual relationship. She saw others as did I. The difference was we told each other what we were doing.

There is no way of me finding who the girlfriend is and telling her as I don’t have a single clue who she is or where to start. All our mutual friends from work clearly didn’t know either and I don’t know anyone from outside work who knows him.

@GreenlandTheMovie sorry it happened to you also and yes complete and utter shock I hardly slept at all cos I just couldn’t believe it. I found out as he told me randomly last night.. said it was time for him to grow up etc.

And casual to me doesn’t mean you have a whole long term relationship with someone else which is what he was doing. Casual means your not committed to each other.. but he clearly was meant to be commited to someone else and I had no idea or I’d have ended this years ago