starting to feel scared

[jenk1]

me and dh are seperated.
yesterday he spent the day with the kids and me. he followed me around the house, he followed me next door when i popped to see my friend, he phoned me last night drunk and asked could he sleep at home- i said no.

he demanded his car keys (he,d left them here on purpose) so i handed them through the window to him, i am scared of him when he,s had a drink, he gets agressive and nasty.
i told him today that if he wants to see the kids from now on he,ll have to have them where he is living.

its like he,s carrying on as normal.

i dont know what i should be doing, do i need to change the locks or see a solicitor?

any advice would be grateful for.

Are you planning on getting a divorce? If you are, what is stopping you? Perhaps you need to see a solicitor to get things moving as that might get the message across that your marriage is over.

Why are you spending the day with him and the children? That may be sending the wrong message and giving him false hope.

i didnt realise that-about spending the day. our 2 kids are ASD and need routine but i see that it cannot continue as it is, he will have to have the children on his own.

i havent thought about divorce.

its so hard this seperation experience, i dont know whether im being mean telling him when he can see his kids or whether im being soft saying we can keep saturdays together.

he wants to come every morning and see the kids before they go to school/nursery as he doesnt finish work until 10.30pm and wont see them but surely when you are seperated the parent without the children doesnt see them as much?

im so confused.

sorry to hear this jenk. i would check with a solicitor before changing the locks.

our house is rented-its a housing association so im not sure if thats different from an owned house.

How long have you been separated for? If its a fairly recent thing you need to set some ground rules, ie, when he sees the dc, where, for how long etc. It's not unfair, just sensible.
You will never be able to move on and build your own life while he is hanging around like this.
When exp and I split, I used to let him come to my house to see the dc but I would go out, or stay out of the way. When I met someone else I had to say he had to take them out or have them at his Mum's.
Was it your decision to separate? If so maybe he's trying to get back together, in which case spending the day together as a family is probably not a good idea at the moment.