Why does my partner get eczema around me

[salsadipp]

Hi all. Very random topic! I've been on and off with my partner for 4 years now. It's strange but when my partner and I get back together he gets eczema flare up. When we are on a break it clears up. And within a week of getting back together again, it flares up again. We've been trying to think what it could be but have no idea. Maybe I just stress him out?😂

@Guidebutton did that cause his eczema to flair up? 😂

Oops wrong thread!

Eczema which is very often caused by stress bubs.This man must be under intense stress living on eggshells like that.

My (adult) DS's eczema flares up at exam time without fail and I do actually have a friend who I can tell the state of her relationship by the state of her hands!

So, IMO, the anxiety he's feeling is a very likely cause of the eczema, which is exactly what was asked.

And I have changed my perfume since our last break and it's still happening.

Yeah but it the ingredients that matter, not the product itself. Chances are your new and old perfume contain much of the same ingredients. A fragrance allergy doesn’t literally mean an allergy to perfume, it means an allergy to scented products in general eg limonene is in everything.

@Guidebutton I meant that you are saying she finds it amusing. Just annoys me when people ask for practical advise and people think it appropriate to give unwanted and upsetting comments. Yeah she's using laughing faces but it's not exactly a gravely traumatic subject. It's about eczema fgs, If you want to insult someone do it on a site that you're not anonymous at least.

*finds it amusing and is making him ill

Does he eat differently when he’s with you? I get a flare up on my face if I eat too much dairy.

My DH has had to switch to products free of all of my allergens.

I can’t even begin to list the amount of products in your home that could be potential allergens, it’s probably easier just to ask him to bring his own toiletries when he comes to yours. Also for household stuff that doesn’t make sense for him to bring over like hand wash, household cleaning items or laundry products, switch to hypoallergenic products only

[quote bubs765]@Guidebutton I meant that you are saying she finds it amusing. Just annoys me when people ask for practical advise and people think it appropriate to give unwanted and upsetting comments. Yeah she's using laughing faces but it's not exactly a gravely traumatic subject. It's about eczema fgs, If you want to insult someone do it on a site that you're not anonymous at least. [/quote]
Haha, pot, kettle?

OP does seem to find it amusing that the poor man is always desperate to get back with her. It's not rocket science to see a link between that and his illness, which btw, might not be "grave" but can be very debilitating.

@RedLlama

I was very allergic to something at my ex’s house, never did figure out what it was

Maybe your ex

Realistically he needs to see his GP and ask for a dermatology patch testing referral to discover the cause of his allergic contact dermatitis

It sounds like it might be washing products from your sheets or towels. Or maybe your shower stuff?

Bio D do a fragrance free laundry liquid, also Surcare, and M&S have their own brand fragrance free sensitive one which is a bit cheaper.

For shower gel, sanex zero - or plain bar soap. Mitchum do fragrance free deodorants that work well. Shampoo: Waitrose Pure, Faith in Nature, or Green People - depending on how rich I am feeling!

Also whilst stress can be factor, the facts is that when he’s stressed at his own home he doesn’t suffer with this problem. It’s only when he visits your home that he gets a flare up, which suggest contact dermatitis. Therefore stress isn’t really a factor

Stress

www.nhs.uk/conditions/contact-dermatitis/

Your partner may need allergy testing, but many people with eczema are allergic to fragrance. That means removing all fragrance from your home including cleaning products, personal care products, candles (except specially sourced specifically fully unscented candles), perfumes, and air fresheners. You also have to watch for things like bin liners, magazines, and other sneaky ways manufacturers try to push these chemicals into your home. A product labeled unscented is not sufficient because that may contain masking fragrance, it must be truly fragrance free.

Perfume, washing powder, soap, air fresheners, certain flowers (lilys especially for me). I cannot use perfume at all.

Just to add to @MixedUpFiles list:

Toothpaste/mouthwash
Dry shampoo & any hair styling products
Shampoo/conditioner
Shower gels/fem fresh
Wipes - skincare, toilet, cleaning
Body lotions and sunscreen
Perfumes, deodorants and body sprays
Hand sanitizer/hand wash
Lube/condoms
All household cleaning items inc laundry
Diffusers, room spray, candles, plug in scents, car freshener
Hair remover products
Facial setting sprays, skincare & some makeup

Can you tell I have a fragrance allergy😂 luckily I can use most fragranced products without an issue

@Jackie2022

Also whilst stress can be factor, the facts is that when he’s stressed at his own home he doesn’t suffer with this problem. It’s only when he visits your home that he gets a flare up, which suggest contact dermatitis. Therefore stress isn’t really a factor

Well, it may or may not be. There isn't just one kind of stress, or one level of stress. Relationship issues are known to be one of the most stressful sorts of life event. Repeated breaking up and getting back together may be more/differently stressful for him than other things that happen in his life.

Or it might be the washing powder.

But we can't know for sure, can we. Not with the certainty you seem to have, with such a small amount of information.

How warm do you have your house? My daughters eczema flares up when I have the heating on more. The dry atmosphere seems to irritate it. Just a thought, other than the usual perfume suggestions. What shampoo do you use, my eczema is sensitive to shampoos with a lot of perfume.

@Eckhart I’m not quite sure why you have replied to me as you certainly don’t come across as a medical professional. Attributing this to stress is something an uneducated layperson would do. Surely he would be more stressed during/after they breakup, so why doesn’t he suffer with eczema at his own house when he’s stressed to the max recovering from a break up? It’s illogical to ignore the environmental factor here.

Where on his body is the eczema?

@Jackie2022

Yes, I'll just repeat what I said, as you clearly didn't read it:

But we can't know for sure, can we

It seems we agree.

My father had this reaction to my mum, after they married he was hospitalised for weeks with severe eczema everywhere. He was medicated for the rest of his life, although it improved significantly at andropause.

It’s not trivial. He was still complaining about it 50+ years later when he went to the hospice, and mum still feels unfairly blamed.

I think he probably did react to her, possibly by stress. They certainly went through lots of changes to washing powder, toiletries etc during the course of their lives.

You don't vacuum your mattress?

You have carpet rather than hard floors/curtains rather than blinds?

You have old feather pillows rather than synthetic?

Your bedding needs replacing?