Preparing to leave - help!

[Swift434]

Hello,
I’m a Sahp in a controlling relationship with my husband and after three lockdowns I can’t handle it anymore and I need to get out but I don’t know where to start. I’ve read threads on here with similar situations but any advice given doesn’t seem to work in my situation. I feel so stupid I have got into this situation because I only realise now how stuck I am. I have very little work experience and savings and everything is in my husbands name. I don’t really seem to exist as a person outside of our home. My only worry is the kids. I am the primary care giver and do all the housework but I am worried if I try to leave then my husband will keep the kids as he’s been working at home for the last year so can also argue that he is caring for them when he does nothing! I just don’t know where to start. Everytime I try to plan a route out I just come up against a dead end and have to start again. Where should I start with this??

Can anyone give me any advice?

Think of leaving as a long term goal. Firstly you need to go back to work, this might mean college or voluntary work, but there's lots of different things if you want to work, care being an obvious example. Then you are in a better position to support yourself and your kids. As far as custody, 50/50 is quite common so do collate any evidence that proves why this isn't in the children's interest (what you want doesn't matter, for custody it's what's best for them)

How could your husband keep the kids? If your the SAHP and he works from home it isnt the same as him being the primary carer. Have you got plans as to where your going to go with the DC? Have you any funds available to support yourself and your DC? Have you spoken to a solicitor?

OP. In a similar situation. I'm long term planning. Started working again (part time while kids in school and nursery) also doing a small voluntary job to gain contacts.

I've started saving money. Little bits here and there. Also we have a large garage. I'm collecting bits in there that people are giving away free or cheap: kitchen bits mostly.

Also worried about custody but the most they'd get is 50/50.

Good luck

How old are the DC?

Do you receive the CB in your name to your bank account?

This is an old post from 2021. @Swift434 how are you doing?