I am married to my DH. Normally our life is good. We have some occasional blips but on the whole we work it out. However, reading a few threads this week combined with a few other factors I don't know (but I think I kinda know) how to approach this. Facts are:
DH has his own business, construction (this is kind of relevant) and works 7 days, 5 physical, 2 paperwork. Business is doing OK just now but hasn't made any money for the past 8 months and he hasn't worked.
I work full time in a senior management position in construction which means I haven't been furloughed and in fact this has meant my job has been more complex. I work 65 hours a week. I am also studying for a work related, funded degree.
We have a 10 month old granddaughter, from his daughter, my step. We have her normally every Friday, DH has her on nights, I take her from 0630 onwards to let him sleep.
He told his daughter on Friday we'd have DG all weekend and I said no, I needed some time to do what I needed to do. Now, the time I need is to clean. I've been at it from 0830 today. I'm constantly making excuses but the only reason my house is a shithole us because there's construction mess throughout the house. The floors are horrific, the washing of clothes is awful and the bath constantly has a black ring over it. Regardless of the hours I work, I always make sure dinner is always there ready for him to come home, ready to microwave (all pretty cooked during the week from scratch).
I opened up to him last week when I snapped at him that I'm struggling on many counts.
Tonight he's thrown it back in my face that I'm getting stressed with work and I'm taking it out on him and that he is working to pay our mortgage off and implicating I don't do anything.
Yes, the business has paid 75% of the mortgage off but I have paid every bill and expense that has come in. After bills I am in my overdraft, and that is with the reduced mortgage payment
I do Al the housework, I do all the shopping, if there is anything life administration based I do. I think I do a lot but I'm constantly undermined because he overpaid the mortgage despite me making the shortfall for 8 months when he wasn't working.
I'm just starting to think I'm being taken the piss out of but also because I've opened up that I'm feeling a bit burned, that it's being used against me.
Apologies if it doesn't make sense, and I can elaborate on this and previous examples if asked.