Is it possible to find true love again?

[GordonsAlive85]

Once you have lost what you thought was the love of your life, do you think it is possible to find love like that again? In the midst of divorce and I just worry that I will never find love like that again.

I’d like to know the answer to this too.

Yes, it is.

Some people find perfect people for them several times in a lifetime.

It's all about compatability and company.

You dont need anyone unless they make your life better. And many people dont do this for eachother.

I think going into things looking for 'true love' sets you up to fail. Because when we love people in an idealised disney way, we overlook and forgive things we should not. And the ultimately it all gone crashing down when we realise that really, we should have loved ourselves first and foremost instead.

It seems odd to me to be thinking of future live ready when you arent even divorced from (dickhead?) Number 1. I mean...I hope you dont think it is the priority right now. The priority should be finding happiness alone and if another person happens to come along that compliments your happiness, great.

*thinking of future love already

Yes you can but you have to be ready for it and not rushing into what you think is love and its usually a rebound. Love will find you when you are ready. It will often start with how you feel about yourself. Cliche but true.

Thanks @Wanderlusto, I think I am just feeling a bit sorry for myself I suppose. It's been nearly 2 years since we separated and whilst I have dipped a toe into the dating scene I just feel so guarded and just want someone I can sit and laugh and be silly with without feeling like that I suppose. You're right, I did forgive things that I shouldn't have and kick myself for thinking things would get back on track. Luckily I have a great job I enjoy and the most beautiful children who I adore. Thanks for the kick up the bum

Thanks @litterbird

I’m sure the answer to this is eventually yes . I’ve been in (coming out of) a situation where I have asked similar questions, but there’s evidence all around me (family/friends) that it’s most definitely not only possible, but very, very likely.
You’ll get through this op. It’s a confusing situation when things have been framed in such definitive terms and then it ends, so I can empathise.

Get some good pals instead.
Easier said than done of course. But also easier (and cheaper) to get shot of them than divorce lol.

He can't be the love of your life if you and he split up but I don't believe in a " one true love" .

@Wanderlusto just about every post I see on here with a woman breaking up is wondering what is going to happen to them in future . It is a perfectly normal reaction !

Two years is more than enough time to dip your toe in the water .

Thanks for your responses, I suppose it just feels like being in limbo a little

I do not think we find love. It is like snow. It just happens and the first you notice is that something feels a bit different. The light or the breeze changes and you see little flecks. You look again a little while later and the ground is covered in a thin veil of white. After a while you look again and then it dawns on you. It is deep and soft and white all around you, the trees and branches are laden with it and the twigs and tips are all frosty and sparkly. It takes time, but once in a while this is what we get.

In time it can dissolve and melt away. But it can always snow again. We just have to be patient and enjoy the journey, not covet it. The snow will find us again if it wants to.

@NoMackerelInSwindon that is beautiful, thank you

@NoMackerelInSwindon - I have never ever heard that description before, it's just so lovely and so very apt.

I think that true love is an ideal pedalled by Hollywood and Disney. It doesn't exist. You have to accept people as they are, faults and all. I thought exH was my soul mate but he turned out to be a horrible narc. But, if your question is - is it possible to find love again? Then yes it is. I'm in love again. I was so damaged by my divorce that I never wanted to meet someone ever again, but here we are. I love him but I see him for who he is and our relationship is lovely. Not perfect, just lovely.

Knowing so many have found ice again within a year Is daunting.

I'm 2 years on . Can't imagine meeting anyone.

@GordonsAlive85 I totally understand how you feel. I have been separated only 7 months but emotionally Estranged from my ex for years beforehand. I was watching a television show the other day where the man nuzzled his partners hair and laughed at something she said in bed and I was struck that no one has shared that intimate delight with me that way for so long and I can’t imagine it will ever happen again.

@NoMackerelInSwindon that is the most apt and beautiful description of love I have ever read. Thank you.

@VampireTheBuffetSlayer your story gives me hope, I just want someone who will love me and accept my imperfections and love me all the more for them

@fairypangolin, our time will come

Definitely possible, but you will need luck on your side, as with everything.

I kicked my husband out in January 2016. We'd been together for nearly 20 years and married for 18. He was cheating on me with someone barely older than our daughter. I was nearly 40 and thought that was it for me.
I met my partner in October 2016. I thought it was just going to be a bit of fun, but we're still together and very happy. In fact, we're a much better match than I was with my ex and I don't think I was this happy before. You'll find someone OP, when the time is right for you

OP - don’t look or wait for some Disney version of ‘true love’. Don’t wait the the One to enter on a while horse.
Those are fairytales.

Get through divorce. Grieve your relationship if you need to. Pick yourself up and get on with life.

Best way to get ready to meet someone is to be at a good place in life with no ‘need’ for a man as a source of happiness.