He won't leave... now what ? :(

[DesparadoNewlywed]

Please see my previous post - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3972935-Get-my-ducks-in-a-row-what-does-that-even-mean

Well it's 7 months later. Following several sessions of couples therapy and my current solo therapy sessions - I initially requested for H and I to part ways back in November during an argument and he said ' nope its a pandemiiiic' he'll leave after lockdown is lifted. Come December and lockdown is lifted... nothing... if anything its like the conversion never happened and Christmas comes and we're like one big happy family. Well i haven't changed my mind and I'm constantly asked as to why I'm not happy and I've repeated myself today and now he just said he refuses to move out. Despite my house being "utter sht that he wouldn't dare raise a child in" - he said instead "Since you're the one who wants to ruin/ destroy the marriage YOU should move out, and leave DC" as he's not a lodger and he's not going anywhere! Sigh*

I don't know what to do...my maternity leave finishes end of April - though I could try and request to get back sooner. i have savings to cover the bills until then but don't think i have enough to start the divorce proceedings as I understand it could get costly - better to start once I'm back at work.

Please advise

Can you put the house on the Market?

@CaramelPops

No can't unfortunately .. awaiting cladding issue to be resolved which may take up to a year of waiting

Ahh, no!! I really feel for you.
I’d recommend you tell him you are splitting up.

Do not cook or wash for him. Keep everything separate. Don’t sleep in the same bed. Mark the date and get free advice from a solicitor.

I wish it was so easy . He will refuse to sleep in the living room and our baby has her crib in our bedroom so I would have to sleep in there with her as she wakes up every so often. But you're right, I'll mark this day and contact the solicitors on Monday. Thanks x

@DesparadoNewlywed

I wish it was so easy . He will refuse to sleep in the living room and our baby has her crib in our bedroom so I would have to sleep in there with her as she wakes up every so often. But you're right, I'll mark this day and contact the solicitors on Monday. Thanks x

What would happen if you went to sleep in the living room and told him to look after the baby? If breastfeeding could you express?

Oh no, I see @DesparadoNewlywed That is so hard on you. I would still ask him to sleep elsewhere if you can. See what your options are after a free consultation. Make sure you shop around foe the right solicitor. Keep notes on your phone and get bank statements, passports etc. Can you keep them safe at your family?

Just somewhere you can keep them out of his hands. Marriage certificate, north certs and treasured memories. X

Could you go and stay with anyone for the rest of your maternity leave? Parents?

Throw out the sofa, put a bed and the cot into the living room, take over the space, start to live separately.