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Original poster

Struggling in lockdown

4 replies

Flower8919 · 20/02/2021 15:10

Hello, I have posted in here before a while ago and got some really good advice but have been really struggling recently and just had to unload my thoughts and see if anyone else is going through the same.

I think I am in a controlling relationship and I had all these plans to try and get a bit of independence back and make some friends instead of just being a sahp but I haven’t been able to do any of it because of the lockdowns. My partner is wfh and so like we always have to be quiet and stuff during the day and I was hoping to get a part time job but just haven’t heard back from any applications. Just not sure where to go from here or how long this will last. If anyone can offer any advice that would be amazing. Thank you x

OP posts:
Claire926 · 20/02/2021 17:13

I do volunteer dog walking, I pick the dog up from the owner's porch door so I don't go in the house. Maybe you could do that to get out of the house in the lockdown. It has certainly helped me being with a pet, exercising and getting out. I hope you work things out.

Original poster
Flower8919 · 20/02/2021 17:47

Ahh that is a nice idea. I do love dogs. I normally go out walking with the kids though not sure I could handle a dog as well! Grin Would be nice to just be able to see some other people

OP posts:
HereForTheFeminismChat · 20/02/2021 20:35

What does independence mean to you, Flower?

.... ending the relationship?
.... having employment outside the home?
.... having (more) friends?
.... having hobbies and activities outside the home?

Is it ultimately .... having agency in your own decisions?

Because it may be that you can start developing agency without going anywhere. Does that chime with you? Are there decisions you can make now where you treat yourself as someone with self-worth and boundaries - even little ones, like the music you might listen to, or taking up online yoga? You have posted here - is this a forum where you can reach out to people, even if we are not friends in the ordinary sense of the word?

Lockdown will come to an end.

Does it help to think that you are preparing yourself for this with mini projects in the interim?

Original poster
Flower8919 · 21/02/2021 09:14

I don’t want to end the relationship as it will end our family. Plus even if it did come to that I have no idea where I would go and I don’t think I could risk losing the kids!

Yeah you’re right. Just making my own decisions about things would help I think!!

OP posts:
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