Partener refuse to move form a shared house. What to do?

[Jud35]

all, I have an ongoing problem with my partener and I would like your advice.
So. We have been together for 5 years (not the best 5 years) and been living in a shared house ever since. My partener recently became legal and started a new job and the driving licence but with the pandemic he couldn't get to do the driving test so that kinda spoiled out plan of moving out from here.
Now the lockdown is still ongoing and still cannot get the driving booked we are still stuck in a room. The biggest issue is that he works night shift and I am in furlough,(all day in the same room where he is sleeping) and yet he refuse to moove out because of the expenses (£300 extra) and the traveling to work.
Please guys tell me is it Wright or wrong for me to feel neglected, shoould I patiently wait for him to be ready to moove? I forgot to mention I am 35 and he is 33.
Amy advice is welcome.
Thank you in advance

I think you need to do the work as it's clearly you that wants to move, not him. Find a place to move to that is suitable for his commute, cost it, find a man + van, give him a deadline. Some people are just lazy and need the work doing for them.

If not, i'd be moving out to my own place as I would hate your situation and a man that couldn't be bothered.

What do you mean he has become legal?

How does him passing his driving test mean he’ll have more money?

If he can’t afford to move out now, there’s not a lot he can do but wait, is there? It’s not about you being neglected?

The money it's not really a problem. We would share. He is more about having more savings.

The place I wanted to move it's about 45 mins with train.

I would not want to increase my travel time by 45 minutes on public transport. Especially for night shifts. Added expensive on top of increased commute is not exactly attractive. Have you tried compromising by offering to stay in the same area?

And surely in a shared property you have access to a living room? Do you have to stay in the room with him while he sleeps?

Also not sure how you perceive this as neglecting you? Not prioritising you maybe, but is expecting him to do 45 minutes extra travel on notoriously unreliable public transport for a night shift prioritising him?

Can you answer the questions I asked?

It doesn’t sound like you are very happy with your quality of life, which is understandable. I couldn’t imagine living life in a single room. But are you working yourself?

Thank you for your answer. Basically living in the same area it isn't an option as it is very expensive,and we both refuse that so the only option is to move a bit further from London. I do not have acces to shared living room either. And the traveling on public transport it would be temporary.
And the reason I feel neglected it's because I allways put him first, I did a 1.15 mins journey on public transport before and I did it because I knew that was the only way to live together.

I am working but at the moment I am in furlough, also I forgot to mention that I have recently lost my mom due to cancer.... And this makes it even worst.

@Howshouldibehave

Can you answer the questions I asked?

Presumably that means he's got legal paperwork to work

Him passing the driving test it doesn't mean more money only means more job opportunities and easier travel

The problem isn't that he doesn't have money, the problem is the extra cash for a bigger place. He won't have to pay alone I would also pay.

What do you mean he has become legal?

Presumably by become legal OP means either one or both of them are from another country and have recently completed paperwork allowing them to work and live in this country more permanently.

So he's prioritising his travel time over you being cooped up in a room with a snoring partner all day?
I'd be doing as PP suggested .... getting a workable solution put together and if he won't do it then I'd be moving out. Which wouldn't necessarily mean the relationship would end but would give you the space to live and breathe.

If its a sharedhouse can you not spend time in the lounge, why do you need to spend all day in the bedroom?

most shared houses do not have a living room, it becomes another rentable bedroom, that's how they work, HMOs. certainly in LOndon.
maybe he's just not that into you, OP, and is kinda hoping you will move out, but doesn't want to push you or hurt your feelings.
why don't you look around and do what's best for you.

I ment that he has the right to work. Up till now he wasn't able to work due to some paperwork issues.

There is no lounge. There is only a shared kitchen without even a table or seats.

Ok, well what do you want from your life?

If you want to move out then I agree with a PP who said you need to do the work. Being on furlough means you've got loads more spare time than him. Find somewhere suitable and move out. He either comes with you or he doesn't.

From your updates, I take it all back. Stuck in one room with someone who sleeps all day must be horrible! If he's not willing to move to give you a reason lifestyle, then fuck him he's a selfish bastard and you need to move out on your own.

Living in a small room that long sounds miserable.

If he wasn't working until now, how did he pay for himself before?

OP what did you mean when you said it hadn't been the best five years? Do you mean the relationship hasn't been great or other things have happened?

Did you support or sponsor your partner to move to the UK? Are the other sharing the house friends of your partners?

You say it hasn't been a great 5 years... He doesn't want to move out of shared accommodation...

I'd leave tbh