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Original poster

What should I do with the photos

36 replies

prowlingbrooms · 19/02/2021 16:27

I’m moving home and I have found boxes of photos of my ex boyfriend (11 years together). We split up 20 years ago abs although I would not want to go back to him (and he is married now) in some essential way I never really recovered. I went n/c at the time abs apart from one phone call 13 years ago - he contacted me - morning.
So my question is this: I don’t want these photos and I don’t want to throw them away. I was thinking of packing them up and sending them to his mother on the grounds that they will mean something to him or his family one day - these are not pictures of us together just pictures of him. I took a lot!
Or should I just Chuck them? I don’t want to get into any correspondence with him and he lives in a different country to me and his mother). Or should I leave best alone
I’d like them if the positions were swapped as I have few photos of myself at this age. In the other hand if i got the photos I might see them as an invitation to chat and I am happy with n/c.

OP posts:
MagnoliatheMagnificent · 19/02/2021 16:32

Shred them.

user141635812632 · 19/02/2021 16:36

You could just leave them in a box in your new home (will you have a loft?) and let somebody else chuck them when they clear your stuff after you die.

seensome · 19/02/2021 16:39

I would just Chuck them, after all this time, I expect he's forgotten about them, I don't think he'll appreciate you coming into his life now even through his mother.
Or as someone just said, put them in the loft and forget about them

ShopTillYouDropp · 19/02/2021 16:39

I think I would put them in a box in the loft somewhere out the way

havecourage8bekind · 19/02/2021 16:50

In the minority but I'd definitely give them to his mother. I think as you say, they will be memories. If they want to throw them then so be it..but I know if my ex had a box of photos of me - I'd want to see them!

waitingpatientlyforspring · 19/02/2021 17:15

My mum moved abroad and left me with most of her photos. I wasn't in touch with her second husband so I sent photos of him and his family to his mum. I don't know if they were appreciated but it felt right to me.

Enlighten100 · 19/02/2021 17:21

I think its kind of you to think to send to his mum. She might really appreciate that. you could also say that you don't want to initiate contact, just wanted her to have them.

DavidsSchitt · 19/02/2021 17:22

Photos of the two of you? Or old family photos of his?

DavidsSchitt · 19/02/2021 17:23

Oh, I see it's photos you took. Erm. Just bin them

Whitney168 · 19/02/2021 17:25

Chuck them

crosshatching · 19/02/2021 17:26

Yes I'd give them to his Mum as well. Just don't include any contact details for yourself!
He is ah...clothed in them all isn't he?! Don't give his Mum those kind of pictures!

SleepingStandingUp · 19/02/2021 17:27

I'd send them on if you know her address. Nothing besides "came across these when I was moving, thought you might appreciate them. Prowling". The moving comments show there's no point trying to contact you as you've gone.

crystalcherry87 · 19/02/2021 17:29

Bin. He might think it's a weird thing to do and it makes it look like you're thinking too much about him.

RosesandPumpkins · 19/02/2021 17:34

Yeah I’d just bin them

Jackie2022 · 19/02/2021 17:38

Just bin them.

Just because you barely have any photos of younger you, doesn’t mean he barely has any of him either. Or even if he did, he might not even care about the sentiment like you do and would rather not have them

If I was him/his wife, I would think this is a weird reason to get in touch. It does come across as an excuse to resume contact, they live in another country after all. You’d have to go out of your way to get them to him

Jackie2022 · 19/02/2021 17:40

Is him mum definitely alive?

category12 · 19/02/2021 17:47

His mum might not really want them? The places and situations wouldn't necessarily mean much to her, so she'd need them explaining, which means him having to trawl through them.

Unless it's unique stuff like, I don't know, his graduation day, and you were the only one there taking pictures, they'll just be of him in places you went together, not particularly meaningful to her or to anyone but you and him.

Original poster
prowlingbrooms · 19/02/2021 19:23

On balance I’ve decided to bin them. I think it would be a nice thing to do but given our past I really don’t want to be seen as initiating contact (his mum was still sending me Xmas cards up unil this two years ago, even though I never responded!)

OP posts:
BrilliantBetty · 19/02/2021 19:32

I'd be pleased if someone unearthed lots of nice pics of me in my prime. I don't have very many. And it would be nice to think back of those young days.

But i'm sure you're right, much easier to bin.

Playnoh · 19/02/2021 20:02

I’d send them to his mum, if she still sent you xmas cards she wouldn’t be loathed to hear from you. As long as they are not loved up pics, send them on.

FlyNow · 19/02/2021 20:06

I'd bin them.

SciFiScream · 19/02/2021 20:16

My Mum died when I was little. If anyone sent me photos of her it would be like treasure.

Make sure there's none of you and send them to his Mum.

Found these while packing to move, thought you might like them. Don't include new address.

Kintsuji · 19/02/2021 20:28

@SciFiScream

My Mum died when I was little. If anyone sent me photos of her it would be like treasure.

Make sure there's none of you and send them to his Mum.

Found these while packing to move, thought you might like them. Don't include new address.

I'd do this. At worst she'll just bin them, but she may really love to get them. I know I would in this circumstance.
Donelurking · 19/02/2021 20:30

Throw them.

WatieKatie · 19/02/2021 20:51

Another vote for the bin.

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