Feeling dissatisfied in the bedroom

[BloominMarv42]

Last night my DH and I had a quickie.... except we always seem to have quickies .....

He finished, I did not.

I am becoming increasingly dissatisfied in the bedroom, although he does offer to make me orgasm, this is only through oral which I don’t always want! And can’t always do either (depending on the time of the month/whether I have showered before bed etc)

So I don’t drip feed, I have recently come off contraception as I am sick of feeling out of control of my hormones. Dh agreed and supports this, however he HATES condoms and hates pulling out too. He says it ruins his Orgasm and leaves us both feeling dissatisfied

I don’t want to get pregnant either though. We’ve discussed the snip, but he is understandably worried about it, and we only have one child.

I just feel that sex is ‘done’ when he is done. Even if he offers to finish me off I feel like it’s a chore and I just want that satisfied TOGETHER feeling - we have orgasmed together many many times but this was when we were trying for a baby, and when I was on contraception.

What can I do?
Also, last night I admitted I didn’t finish and was disappointed, he then said ‘it takes two to tango’ and he didn’t pull out of me which I am now concerned about. It felt quite selfish as I have terminated a pregnancy before and it was a tough time - he knows I am not ok with him finishing inside me.

:(

You can get the MAP if you are concerned.

How old is your DC?

There are options to freeze sperm and also have aspiration done if you wanted another child later on.

If you have no contraception and don't want another child, you are absolutely crazy to rely on him pulling out, even if he had shown himself to be reliable, which he hasn't. You both sound pretty naive and immature about the whole thing. Personally I would do without sex altogether until you have sorted something out, either him wearing condoms,. IUD for you? To be honest this is way more important than cumming together!

Pulling out is not contraception. Only the dim and stupid believe such crap. Do you want another baby as you are basically trying for one.

Your DH sounds selfish, only thinking about himself. Time to stop being treated like a wank sock! He has to make you orgasm first, he has to take responsibility for contraception. Otherwise no PIV sex. You don't have to have sex with him.

Sorry I should have clarified - we have only used to PIO method twice.
We usually use condoms.

I am not immature or stupid either Thankyou.

Sounds like the old “mating in captivity” blues. He’s gotten lazy about making sure you enjoy yourself, and you’ve stopped insisting on it. If you had better sex when the worry of getting pregnant wasn’t an issue, it really does sound like the current situation with lack of contraception and you both being on edge about it is a big factor.

You need to sort out proper contraception for a start - withdrawal is not a method of contraception, it’s a game of chance - and if there’s a probability that you’re going to want more children at some point then obviously the snip isn’t an option and so you’re going to have to step up and get something like a copper IUD (I thoroughly recommend, mine has been great) or insist in finding, which if disliked doesn’t sound as though they’ll improve an already lacklustre sex life.

Two to tango? While he finishes in you?
Is he not worried about pregnancy?

Apart from the pregnancy thing, he is using your body. Who is exactly tangoing??

I'm guessing if you fell pregnant, that would be your fault? Selfish man

He should wear a condom. No arguments

You need new rules.

1. No condom = no sex
2. No orgasm for = no orgasm for him.

This shouldn't be needed with a giving, unselfish man btw.